Children are Bundles of Joy!
They are our own creation; our own extension. So it is so very natural and obvious that lot of our happiness comes from our children.

Happiness comes as we realize that our kids are turning out to be good human beings, with good virtues being reflected in their personality. Happiness comes as we see our kids making right decisions, and endeavouring to progress in the right direction of life. And our happiness knows no bounds when we notice our little stars become our guiding stars, as they lovingly draw us onto their chosen path that is pure and liberating.

This reminds me of an instance in the life of Pujya Deepakbhai, who is a spiritual Master now, and is guiding whole bunch of children from around the world, by giving them the right perspective and outlook to live their life. As a child, Pujya Deepakbhai brought a lot of happiness to his parents during their entire life. While in the last phase of life, his father declared, "Deepak, you are my true guru. You have shown me the true path of liberation." Such overwhelming is the delight that comes to parents from their children!
But Beware!!

Having said that, the Enlightened beings always caution parents on certain aspects, so that going ahead, they don’t have to undergo much of pain and suffering in life. So, let’s learn what those aspects are....
First and foremost, they reveal an important principle of karma, which is, if we taste happiness, we will have to taste unhappiness. Happiness is like a loan, the repayment of which becomes mandatory.
Does it mean, we are not entitled to any happiness in life?

It’s not like that! In fact, Enlightened beings are always keen to ensure, we secure permanent happiness.
Moreover, your happiness affects your children in a big way! Parent’s depression generally causes severe behavioural problems in children. Also, it makes your parenting less effective. So, you definitely ought to be happy; but without having to pay back in terms of unhappiness at a later point!

The remedy is: While being the blessed parents whose happiness comes from their children, if we don’t get absorbed in that happiness, then whenever the circumstance of unhappiness comes, it will not be able to touch or affect us that much.

Do Not Get Absorbed In Happiness... – How is this done?
1.Attain Self-Realization. Once you attain Self-Realization, you realize that, “I am Pure Soul and my nature is only to see and know.” With this, your belief, ‘I am indeed the one who is having this happiness’ drops. Hence, it becomes easier to remain separate, and not get absorbed. Self-Realization can be easily attained through Akram Vignan, the stepless path to Self-Realization.
After you attain Self-Realization, the following solutions become much easier to apply.

2.Practice Equanimity. When your child does well in exams, please don’t get elevated and go overboard in happiness. For any parent, this is easier said than done, because of their deep-rooted attachment for their children. But when done, the magic that you’ll get to see then is: after some time, for some reason, if your child happens to underperform, it won’t make you hopelessly disheartened and depressed, nor would it make you feel aggressively angry and anxious. It clearly saves you of all the misery and agony that you would otherwise have to go through!

3.Replace Attachment with Love. The spiritual science says that when we have attachment, it means it is not love. This is because attachment inevitably gives rise to expectations, whereas in love, one only gives, without expecting anything in return. Parents are like a boon, who only give, give and give to their children. Yet, if we try and make a list of what all expectations we have from our loved ones, we shall soon realize the list of material and emotional expectations we have from our kids is far too long. Only when we move out of attachment, love ushers in. Then, we are able to deal with our children in wisest, kindest and beautiful manner, such that they become real good humans!

4.Let Our Expectations Go. The very nature of expectations is that until things happen according to expectation, it generates in us a feeling of happiness and satisfaction; but the moment expectations do not get fulfilled, we are bound to feel hurt or get angry. When expectations go, all tension goes. You are so happy then. So, firmly decide that, “I don’t want to keep any expectations.”

5.Develop detachment. Being parents, we are naturally attached to our children. But our aim should be to develop detachment. Once detachment is developed, nothing will disturb or perturb us, and it will lead us to liberation. However, detachment is often misunderstood to mean disconnecting with the person or conducting our interactions with a dry and dispassionate mood. No, detachment does not mean indifference towards the person or even worse, forsaking the person at all.

As a parent, you ought to meet your responsibility to care for your child with all the love and warmth, but you do it without any clinging; out of pure and selfless love only. Say when your child fails, despite your intensive care and attention, you may get upset on your child, and if not, then on yourself. But that’s totally useless. Instead, with a calm and composed mind, if you say, “We tried, but the result didn’t come. So, let me try to find another way to help him”, then you are not attached, you are rather detached!

6.Watch the Master!!! In detachment, there is neither inaction nor reaction, but a peaceful, positive action. But this comes with practice. More so, by watching someone who performs his duties with love, compassion, patience and detachment. This someone is Gnani, the Spiritual Master, who has attained Self-Realization, and sees everyone as a Pure Soul. He never gets sad or upset with any result that comes, because of the right understanding prevailing in Him, which is - The results are not in anyone’s hands. No one is really a doer in this world. It is all in the hands of Nature. Depending on our past karmas, we get the fruits in the form of results.

7.Cultivate Right Understanding. You can’t root out all attachment, overnight! But you can certainly begin to develop right understanding in you, which will help make this seemingly impossible task, possible over time. And if you manage to connect with good Spiritual Master, watch him and follow his teachings, right understanding shall very easily and automatically get inculcated within you.

To conclude,
Where there is real detachment, there is real love. And where there is real love, there is real happiness! When you attain Self-Realization, and by observing Gnani, learn to nurture your children with real love and happiness, majority of your happiness shall be independent; as it shall be coming from your real Self.

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Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization.