Does Pornography Harm a Relationship?
Written by Ruth Purple
Even before the internet has become a household name, pornography has already existed. In the past, just the mere mention of the word can cause mayhem in a community, especially when done by a young boy. Religious teachings and stringent rules about manners and conduct rendered pornography a taboo, and talking about it openly was simply unheard-of. However, the rules change as time goes by. Although it is still not publicly discussed in schools because of the stigma and most people’s religious upbringing, it is an undeniable fact that most kids (especially boys) are already familiar with it and have at one time or another already peeked at some men’s magazine at a young age.
In addition to this, the amount of pornographic materials and erotica on the internet is shockingly large, so it’ not at all surprising when young boys are exposed to these even before they enter high school. Pornography is still a very sensitive topic for a lot of people, even in our ultra-liberated society today. The impact of porn in relationships, however, is quite debatable— it is actually a growing topic in our society, especially within marriages, since a lot of divorce is in fact caused by this. On the other hand, there are others who are not as threatened with porn.
Does pornography really harm a relationship? Porn can be a pretty hard thing for a lot of women to deal with when it comes to their husbands. Some feel intentionally embarrassed when the husband is watching it and compares her to the women on the screen, and is likely to feel inferior and less attractive. It is not uncommon for women who discover their husband obsessed with pornography to feel severely offended, and would equate the act to betrayal or cheating. A lot would take it as an initial move toward an affair, or a sign that their partner is no contented with their bodies or is dissatisfied with their sexual ability so that pornography becomes a total alternative for the spouse’s satisfaction.
Those who are asked to watch porn with their partners and grudgingly agree often feel purposely embarrassed, because they cant help but actually see their loved one ogling and gawking at another person’s private parts. Men who suffer from erectile problems may feel the same way too, especially upon seeing male porn stars who flaunt their oversized organs without any problems whatsoever in that aspect. Just like women, men are capable of feeling insecure too, and doubt whether his wife is looking for a replacement just because he can’t deliver the goods. Meanwhile, some people have an entirely different perception of porn.
For them, it is simply something that is part of one’s sexuality, and is not something to worry about. Erotica and porn is not taken as a belittling of one’s physical flaws or lack of something in the relationship. Instead, it is even perceived as a good thing, especially when one is sick or too stressed out to meet the spouse’s needs. Whether pornography harms a relationship or not actually depends on the couple. Since the act often magnifies insecurities, it can reach the point where some spouses would demand that their partner choose between him/her and the porn. This can be avoided if one spouse would dig deeper and determine just what it is about it that the other finds repulsive and their best presumption about why their partner likes to watch it.
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