Leaving an abusive spouse can be very traumatic, however, you are not alone. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, an estimated 1.3 million women are victims each year and the numbers are growing.

In so many cases, you as the victim of Domestic Violence are under the control of your partner. He can be very loving and kind one moment and abusive the next. It can be very difficult to leave someone you may love, but it is important to focus on your future; a future without violence, abuse and fear.

Planning ahead is crucial.

Secretly begin to gather your items (clothing, jewelry, toiletries and if you have children, start collecting their clothing, toys, etc). Make certain you have essential documents: Birth Certificates, marriage license, diplomas, degrees and tax returns. Store them in a safe place--either at a friend's house or in the trunk of your car. MAKE CERTAIN YOUR ABUSIVE SPOUSE DOES NOT HAVE A KEY TO YOUR CAR. If he does, secretly remove your key from his key ring and replace it with a similar key which looks like your car key but, of course,is not. Also, begin to put money away. . .dollar by dollar. Again, do not keep this in your wallet.


Fortunately, you have several options:

1. If you have relatives close by who are willing and able to help you, take this under consideration. If children are involved, relatives might be the best place to stay if they are able to protect you through your journey to freedom. They can also assist you in seeking the legal representation you will need.

2. Another option is to call a domestic violence shelter in your area. You will be guided by professionals who are well versed in all facets of Domestic Violence. If you do not know about the shelters in your state, you can contact
http://ndvh.org or call the toll free HOTLINE number: 1-800-799-SAFE. They will guide you to the shelters in your state and you will soon discover that you are not alone.

It is crucial that you learn to believe in yourself again. Counseling will be extremely helpful as you climb your way to freedom. Repeat this mantra to yourself daily: "I AM BEGINNING A NEW LIFE."

There is no shame in today's world regarding domestic violence as there has been in the past. Let go to negative thoughts such as, "What did I do to deserve this?" NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED.

So you don't think I am some fly-by-night author eager to harvest some gripes of wrath, I understand what you are going through as I too was a victim of abuse, domestic violence for almost eighteen years! But YOU CAN BECOME A SURVIVOR. When you have reached that rung of your ladder to freedom, you will feel such peace and begin to understand that love with abuse wasn't love at all!

WEBSITE: http://www.domesticviolencechronicle.com

Author's Bio: 

Penelope Van Buskirk has written a book titled; FOR WORSE NEVER BETTER: Diary of An Abused Wife and Escape to Freedom.
She was educated at Fairleigh Dickson University with a BA in English. She has written witty articles, poems for RUNNING TIMES MAGAZINE; CAMPERWAYS; IDEALS MAGAZINE; LADYCOM and the WORCESTER TELEGRAM AND GAZETTE. She created a column for THE AUBURN NEWS called "Over Easy" to name a few.

Before she retired, she was a CFO for a builder in CA; Corporate Contract Administrator for American Fence and Security in AZ; a Corporate Officer of THE MORTGAGE PLACE, INC. in Arizona.

She wrote this book to help ABUSED WOMEN and is currently a volunteer motivational guest speaker for CHRYSALIS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER in Phoenix. This book can be ordered through Authorhouse.com (buy paperback) or on Kindle @ Amazon. 50% of all book sales will be conated to CHRYSALIS.

Source: http://selfgrowth.com/articles/domestic-violence-how-to-leave-an-abusive....