With Thanksgiving, our attention turns to all those people and things for which we are grateful. A wonderful tradition, indeed. However, there’s a sneaky little devil that sometimes gets in the way of our ability to truly appreciate...and that is, comparison.
Uh-huh. Comparing your 10-year-old dirty car to your neighbor’s sparkly clean new one. Groan. Or your not-even-remotely-in-shape body to the ripped, buff, sleek body working out on the elliptical next to yours; you’ve barely figured out how to coordinate your arms and legs. Or comparing your toddler’s wobbly steps to your sister’s same-age toddler’s zipping around the room.
Need I go on? Take inventory sometime of just how many times a day you compare yourself or your life to someone else’s self or life, and – more importantly – find yourself wanting. You may be (unpleasantly) surprised at how often you judge yourself to be defective. Not good enough. Swift enough. Smart enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Talented enough. Every time you ding yourself with a “less than” comparison, you hurt yourself. You send an unfortunate message to your entire being that you can’t, that you aren’t. Whatever it is, you don’t measure up. Your body and mind take that message quite literally, and with that, you make it more difficult for your body-mind to accomplish whatever it is you desire.
One of the most powerful messages you can give yourself is “I’m good enough.” Not perfect, but not deficient either. Simply good enough. Ah . . . sweet relief! Because from a position of “good enough,” you can appreciate yourself, and your life, as it is. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else to figure out if you’re good enough, you can adopt it as your basic stance. Try it! Say “I’m good enough” to yourself often as you go about your day, and you’ll feel more confidence flow through you, which in turn, allows your body-mind to function at its current best.
If you really want to rock your world, try thinking “You’re good enough” of others as well: your wobbly toddler, your husband with his affinity for clothes that never match, your whiny neighbor. “You’re good enough” takes you out of the world of comparison and negative judgment, freeing you up to enjoy and be grateful for others as they are.
Now you can truly celebrate Thanksgiving, reveling in the “good enough” in yourself, your life, and all those around you. Enjoy!
Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of “Happy Healthy…Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right” (MindLab Publishing). You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit www.noellenelson.com, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings, #MeetTheAmazings, @drnoellenelson
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