Companies could do a lot more to remove the triggers that bring patterns forward for most people. Stress is subjective. Performance evaluations, for instance, inspire a tremendous amount of dread. Although honest feedback is both healthy and helpful, evaluations are usually structured such that the person being evaluated hears too much criticism or none at all.

There are employees who will balk at any consideration that they must improve. They will become underhanded to “kill the messenger”, that is whoever is the bearer of the performance evaluation “bad news”.

It is recommended that coaching sessions be implemented along with the review, and NOT with the person who has done the review. It is better if it is an outside source that has no power in the on-going relationship.

Most employees will respond to coaching and you will have a “new and improved” co-worker. However, there are those who have such deep seated personal issues they will spend the rest of their tenure in the organization bad-mouthing the review and the reviewer. So, take heed and if you need to “unhire” someone who cannot accept any critique you are better off doing it sooner rather than later.

Safe stress comes from individuals observing how their fears and anxieties are surfaced when there is either an economic concern or a performance concern. Some want to run and put their heads under the covers, others need to lash out and blame others, and some will push right through the middle of the upset to find better ways to respond.

Giving employees the tools and tips on how to find the patterns that tend to repeat and repeat will help the patterns become less upsetting. Giving them the time to understand where the patterns developed in their original family organization will help them tackle the patterns on a deeper level. And offering the tools for transforming the patterns will put many employees on a leadership development track, or get them ready for a next level of career satisfaction.

Many organizations are wise enough to add wellness programs which include stress management, nutritional seminars, or exercise areas that encourage better methods of handling anxiety.

The more employees are offered the way OUT of stress and anxiety, the better it is for the bottom line. So, help your employees, throughout the organization, find ways to OBSERVE patterns, UNDERSTAND where they originated and how to TRANSFORM them to their positive and healthy opposites. That is when everyone wins!!!!

Author's Bio: 

Sylvia Lafair, Ph.D., author of the award winning book, “Don’t Bring It to Work”, “Working Together” and “Pattern Aware Success Guide”e- book, is President of CEO, Creative Energy Options, Inc., a global consulting company focused on optimizing workplace relationships through extratordinary leadership. Dr. Lafair’s unique model has revolutionized the way teams cooperate, relate and innovate.
She can be reached at or 570-636-3858;