In general, someone’s emotional self may rarely, if ever, be settled, with them often being all at sea internally. Due to this, it might not be possible for them to live a normal life.

Now, it might not matter if they are around others or by themselves as they could struggle to handle what is going on inside them. Or, they might find that they feel more settled when they are by themselves.

One Scenario

Either way, when they are at work, they could find that it is often difficult for them to concentrate. This can mean that they seldom get much done and that it takes them longer than others to complete tasks.

They might have a boss who is very understanding, or they might have a boss who doesn’t show much empathy. Naturally, if they do have a boss who is able to put themselves in their shoes, it will put less pressure on them.

Another Area

When they are out socialising, they could find that it is often hard for them to feel comfortable. Instead, this can be a time when they are full of anxiety and have the need to get away.

If so, they might not spend much time socialising and could often turn down invitations to go out. The outcome of this is that the people in their life can believe that they don’t enjoy spending time with them.

Another Scenario

At the same time, most of the people in their life could be aware of what is going on and not take it personally. Those people could be very understanding and encourage them to listen to themselves.

If this is the case, this can stop them from experiencing any additional pressure. Moreover, some of the people in their life could encourage them to reach out for external support.

External Feedback

These people could say that it would be a good idea for them to go on medication and/or have therapy. They might also say that if they meditate, they will be able to experience greater emotional control.

Assuming that they have therapy, this can be a time when they will primarily learn how to manage their thoughts. This is because they can be told that what is going on in their mind is what is causing them to feel unsettled.

The Cause

Thus, when their mind settles down, the rest of them will also settle down. By observing their ‘negative’ thoughts and not getting caught up with them and breathing deeply, they can find that it is easier for them to handle how they feel.

Then again, this approach might not have much of an effect or it might not work. If this is so, they can feel helpless and hopeless, with them believing that they will always experience life in this way.

A Closer Look

There is a chance that they have been this way for as long as they can remember, or they might have experienced life in this way after a breakup or a loss. Regardless of this, what took place during their formative years might be the reason why they are unable to be emotionally settled.

This may have been a stage of their life when they missed out on the emotional nutrients that they needed. Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have often been left and when they were given attention, it might have often been misattuned care.

The outcome

This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle what happened, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

Of course, this wouldn’t have changed what was going on but it would have prevented them from being overwhelmed and dying. Many years will have passed since this stage of their life but they will still carry most, if not all, of the pain that they experienced.

Weighed Down

Their nervous system is then going to be overloaded, which is why they will spend so much time feeling unstable. If they had received the care that they needed and they were able to grow and develop in the right way, it would probably be normal for them to feel settled as an adult.

For them to experience life differently, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation; including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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