The Emotional Stimulus Package Part III: Saying Goodbye to an Old Life

In part two of this series on preparing for change I gave you a tool for observing your life and beginning to acknowledge that a cycle of life is ending. I instructed you to keep tabs of what interests you now as a contrast to what has become stale, boring, and not life giving. Over the next few weeks you have the opportunity to notice not just what is ending but also the vague glimpses of new interests and passions. In this article, the focus is on something Americans have an almost phobic fear of -death. At one time, the three things one never spoke about in public conversation were sex, death, and money. Well, now that you see on day time tv what was only possible in soft porn films, sex is most definitely out in the open. One never discussed salaries in polite conversation and now people talk blatantly about what they lost in their stock portfolio as if they are talking about yesterday’s news. And yet, confronting death is something people do only when forced to through a diagnosis or tragic loss. There is death inside of natural life cycles that we also resist. In the Native American tradition there is a saying “It’s a good day to die.” It was used when a warrior went forth into battle with dignity and acceptance of his fate but I use it as an opening to emotional release work with my clients when the battle we are confronting is the negative ego that is resisting change. Ask yourself the question, “ What beliefs am I holding onto that need to die?” What needs to be released from my life that no longer supports my growth? For example, perhaps it’s the way you’ve made your living or if you’re an entrepreneur, the marketing techniques you have used in the past for your product. If you lost your job or sales are down for your company, it may be time to let an old method go. Companies are famous for continuing to put out a product using a tried and true marketing strategy only to find it isn’t reflecting the needs of the consumer. Think General Motors, for example. Anyway, the next task in preparing for change is to look into your life at what is defunctional– obsolete - and get rid of it. Spring is coming. Is the soil in your garden made up of elements that can produce an abundant crop or do you need to get out there and weed out the beliefs that are suppressing your fertile soul? Make a list of five beliefs you hold about change that are no longer serving you. If we make every day “ a good day to die” we can surrender to personal change, hold a new vision, and out of that produce a new world where no one in the global family goes without. Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, phone coach, and author of her new book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval