If someone is going through a very challenging period, there is the chance that they will have a lot going on internally. As to why this stage of their life is challenging, it could be due to a number of different reasons.

They might have just gone through a breakup, lost their job or fallen out with a friend or family member, for instance. When it comes to what is taking place internally, this could be a time when they feel overwhelmed.

A Closer Look

If they were to go deeper and to connect with their feelings, they could find that they feel helpless, hopeless, powerless and worthless. Before what happened took place, they might have been in a good way or at the very least, been fairly settled.

Consequently, what has happened externally is likely to be seen as the reason why they feel the way that they do. If it wasn’t for this, then, they would be fine and so would their life.

One Focus

Through having this outlook, they could hope that their life soon goes back to how it was before. Furthermore, they might do what they can do change what is going on externally.

When it comes to the people in their life, those who knew what they were like before, they could also have a similar outlook. This may mean that most, if not all, of them, will encourage them to do what they can to make their life go back to how it was before.

Moving Forward

If they are able to pull themselves together and do what they can to change their life, it might not be long until they feel different. It might be possible for them to get back with their ex or to find someone else, to find another job, or to make up with whoever it was they fell out with, for instance.

Thanks to this, their life will go back to normal and it might soon seem as though what they went through never happened. This could be a time when they will be both highly relieved and incredibly grateful.

A Short-Term Solution

Still, if this does happen, it doesn’t mean that their life will stay this way for very long. It might not be long until something similar happens again and they end up experiencing the same feelings.

Once again, they could end up doing the same thing as before to make their life go back to how it was and to feel different. This approach might work or they may find that it doesn’t get them very far this time.

One Outlook

One way of looking at this would be to say that ‘bad’ things happen, its part of life, and, when they do, it will be normal for someone to be emotionally affected. Considering this, the best thing for them to do will be to get back up and to do whatever they can to move forward.

Bathing in self-pity and feeling like a victim is not going to serve them; what will serve them is staying positive and taking action. It could even be said that in moments like this, they will need to be stoic.

Going Deeper

Nonetheless, what if it is not this black and white and there is actually far more to it? What if what took place mainly triggered how they already felt and that these feelings caused them to experience what they did?

If one views themselves as just an observer of their life, they are not going to be able to see how this is so. Being an observer of their life will mean that they played no part in what happened and how they feel will be nothing more than a consequence of what happened.

Two Levels

In order for one to understand how this is so, they will need to know that they have a conscious and an unconscious mind. When it comes to their unconscious mind, this will be the part of them carries the material that their conscious mind has disowned, among other things.

But, although their conscious mind will forget all about what it has pushed into his part of them, it doesn’t mean that this ‘material’ won’t have an effect on their life. From this deeper level, it will exert a massive influence on their life; a far greater influence than their conscious mind.

Destined To Happen

One thing that will happen, through having this emotional pain inside them, is that they will unconsciously co-create situations and circumstances that are an energetic match with how they feel deep down. Their emotional pain will then co-create an experience and this will allow them to experience the feelings that co-created what happened.

Therefore, although it may seem as though it is the experiences first and the feelings second, it is actually feelings first and experiences second. What this emphasises is that repressing something doesn’t neutralise it.


When something ‘bad’ happens, then, it will be a time when their true feelings will have entered their conscious awareness. This will give them the chance to process these feelings, which allow them to develop a better connection with themselves and to fundamentally change their life.

If they don't take this opportunity, the same thing is likely to happen over and over again. One thing that they can do, if they are unsure about how to move forward, is to reach out for external support.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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