Everything that happens in our world is merely an event. We give each one, meaning and get to decide whether it is positive or negative. For example: If two young children climb onto a roller coaster. One is an adrenalin junky and loves being out of control. The other is a more serious child, who likes their feet firmly on the ground. Any time they are not completely in control, they feel overwhelmed and in a state of discomfort. The roller coaster races around the track, the adrenalin junky cannot get enough. When the event is over, or rather, when the roller coaster gets back after the ride.

The adrenalin junky is jumping up and down, wanting to go again. Whilst the other more serious child, can’t wait to get off the ride and needs time to settle and ground themselves once again. How is it possible that two people can experience one event, namely a roller coaster ride, so differently? It is the way we are wired, we give every event, which occurs in our lives meaning and decide whether it is a positive or negative experience.

As happiness is an inside job and nothing outside of you, should affect your level of happiness, you should theoretically never allow any event to change your state. I know this sounds like a pipe dream, but it is not as impossible as it seems. All that is required, for you to wrestle back control of your emotions, is a few small shifts to the way you see your world. Explore the few shifts I have described below, adopting even one of them will help you to gain more control over your happiness.

•Accept that living a one sided positive life is impossible. Life is filled with challenges and negative people. Expecting to find a world without either, is as impossible as discovering a one sided positive magnet.
•Create a crystal clear vision of exactly what you want in your future. The more clarity you have about where you are going, the easier it is to overcome challenges and manage difficult situations or events.
•Try to discover “WHY” achieving your vision is important to you. Once you have a compelling reason why something is important to you, roadblocks, challenges or negative people, are merely stepping stones on your success journey.
•Adopt a new philosophy –Where you keep your eyes focused on your vision. Stop seeing events as being” IN” your way any longer. Shift your thinking and view every event, which crosses your path, as being “ON” your way to the future you have envisioned. We cannot easily change the events or circumstances in our lives, but we can change the way we view them in an instant. Take charge of your life right now and put the power of your emotive state squarely back in your hands. Nothing outside of you should ever hold sway over how you feel, from this moment on.
•Ask a better quality of question, every time you are faced with a challenge or a negative person. Instead of looking at the challenge or negative person and asking “Why is this person sent to irritate me or how can I get through this situation?” Ask a better question like “What can I learn from this person or situation or what is causing them to behave this way?” These new more positive questions will help you to stay positive and empower you to remain happy in the face of challenge or even when negative people challenge you.

I believe that the secret to happiness and joy is found in the realization that living a one sided positive life is impossible. It is our unrealistic expectations that we should only live this pipe dream, which puts us in a place of overwhelm. So when the inevitable challenges do cross your path and they will, or you encounter a challenging negative person with a bad attitude in future, immediately make a conscious decision to take charge of the situation. Start by asking a better more positive question about the situation and try to see every event as a something sent to help you. When you see everything as part of your success journey, or something which is on your way to the future you have envisioned. You see the same event differently and you are able to find ways of getting something from each event.

You are in charge of how you feel; do not allow any event to overwhelm you in future. Nothing can cause you any stress or discomfort, when you change the way you see it. Anything which is an integral part of your success journey and is on your way to the future you have envisioned, can never feel overwhelming. I must admit that this philosophy does not work every time, but with practice, you will feel happy and content, far more than you are overwhelmed and unhappy, after adopting this new philosophy.


Author's Bio: 

Andrew is an expert and master teacher that speaks and teaches self-leadership, expanded awareness, effectiveness, efficiency and productivity. He guides individuals and business professionals, to identify, prioritise and carry out the right activities, consistently, so that they can maximise their personal effectiveness and deliver their best; on time, every time. All the tools and techniques Andrew teaches; have been tested in the laboratory of his own life and the many successful businesses he has owned and led, over the past 20 years. These strategies have seen Andrew achieve financial independence and reach a point of harmonious balance in all areas of his life. His purpose is to help as many people as possible, achieve similar or better results and to show them how they can realise their full potential, both personal and professionally and to help them live a meaningful life, where they are fulfilled in all areas. http://www.andrewhorton.co.za