When we think about this emotion more times than enough it’s the way we look at others. Empowerment is the person we see standing in front of us totally in control whilst showing us the way. This person surly has all of the answers; they speak with wisdom and fortitude. Where do they find the strength the firmness of mind, enabling them to encounter danger with such courage? It’s there supporting them with every move they make, we have the odd feeling that an aura of power seems to emanate from them. There’s an undeniable force likened to something we have never encountered previously. So how can they speak with such authority? To my mind those that are at their best at doing so, have at some point been in a place that you feel you are right now. This is a scenario I have experienced on more than one occasion. The truth is that we all learn more from someone that has experienced the same emotion as we find ourselves within. Over the years I have seen more than one mental health professional all hoping to be the one that would end my struggle, which was a process that took many years. I was lucky enough in time to find that one person that changed the way I felt about myself. Sadly it’s a kind of lottery as to who may be your salvation. I sit here today and know that I could have found an easier route through empowerment. This may have started with attending seminars, listening to radio shows geared towards that subject. But the most powerful tool of all would have been hearing the words of a survivor.

So how do we ever stand a chance of becoming it seems to us the font of all knowledge? How can we command the strength of character that we are witnessing? The one true answer has to be self empowerment. You may be sitting there right now thinking that I am stating the obvious and you would be right, but knowing and believing are two very different things.

For so many because of the guilt we carry within self empowerment we feel is impossible to achieve. It’s the one thing that we can’t shake off it’s such a powerful emotion. It’s impregnating within us over the years of our struggle. You may be asking what or why do we feel so guilty? The resounding reply to that question is undoubtedly the brainwashing we were subjected to over the years. In my own experience it was unmistakable and unquestionable. For so many years I stayed within an abusive situation never able to see my way out. The longer the abuse continued the greater the guilt increased, until it was compounded so deeply within me it seemed I was unable to come up for air. Our abusers have played their game so well, the master tactician far more powerful then ourselves. Everyday seeming like ground hog day nothing alters our pain only increases. The word empowerment is so very far away. Self empowerment we believe is totally unobtainable.

So where do we start? We learn to place the guilt where it firmly belongs. We need to understand fully that we were the victims. If this abuse was during childhood how can the fault sit with you? More often than not our abuser is a family member or someone you may have looked up to trusted. Your protector whom you chose to believe would never put you in a situation of danger. Sometimes our beliefs are not under our control. Self empowerment is obtainable to every one of us when we take back control of our lives, when we understand that the sin was not our own but against us. When doing so we exorcise the ghost that seemed as if it would never leave.

Empowerment is the process of making our own choices, of having some impact on the desired outcome. We can only look within because in truth no one else is going to do it for us or can achieve the desired outcome. Align your life with the positives that are only just beyond your reach. You have to believe that’s possible. It’s a case of digging deep within to tap into the strength that carried you along this far which was no easy task.
You and you alone know the best way forward for you; backward glances are not an option. We can never forget but we can forgive which is a completely different concept. Who are we forgiving? That child within us that has suffered enough……


Author's Bio: 

Teresa Joyce was born on the 15th December 1958 the middle child of three. After losing her father at a very young age; this was to set the pattern for the rest of her life. Losing was something she would have to get used to. Today she still has some memory of her father, but in truth it’s all a little hazy. Her mother through no fault of her own after that loss had no other alternative, other than to return to her parent’s home with her children in tow. This family unit was to spend only a few years there, until the wind of change came around once more. Happy memories are something that Teresa holds in very short supply. Her mother was set to meet the man that was to become her stepfather, and they moved once more to a new city with the promise of a new life. Hopefully it would be a happy one for all concerned, but it became a place for Teresa that felt far more like a prison. One in which she would spend many years months days and hours hating. She swore to herself that she would leave all this behind at the first possible occasion.