Energy Psychology Tips for Romance in Healthy Aging

Romance is widely understood as the vital connection with the “special someone” who is or will become your life partner. The laws of attraction operate in a most tangible way when it comes to romance.

If you are grumpy, unhappy, or very needy you are likely to attract those very qualities another person. This is true whether you are just meeting someone new or you have been with a partner for many years.

To find the “right person” in someone else, find ways of being the best person you can possibly be. If you want to maintain a long-term romantic relationship with your lifelong partner, be as creative as possible in your daily life by examining each interaction with the person for its gifts and challenges.
Bringing your wisdom and humor into the second half of life is a vital ally for enhancing your romantic relationship. Here are a few practical tips from the new field of energy psychology for maintaining your emotional balance and keeping the charge of vitality and romance alive in your most significant relationship.

1. Learn from each interaction. After any interaction with the person you consider most significant ask yourself, “What happened just now? How could it have been better? What can I learn here?”

2. Be honest with yourself. Instead of prevaricating about why something went wrong, simply acknowledge harmony did not prevail in that moment rather than blaming the other person or feeling hurt.

3. Treat yourself by acknowledging your limitations in an interaction, “Even though ______ happened /or I wish I had not said_______, I deeply and profoundly accept myself and am learning to enhance my relationship skills.”

4. Release negative emotions quickly by tapping the sides of the hands together while making your releasing statement, “ I now let go of my guilt/heaviness/ anger/disappointment.”

5. Rebalance yourself. Emphatic downward movements over the whole body help stagnant energy to release more fully. Feel your center while holding the hands gently over the heart to comfort and affirm yourself.

6. Apologize and forgive readily. You can certainly own your part in the conflicting situation.

7. Make a peace offering. It might be a smile, a joke, a gesture, a sharing of food, a sentence about an unrelated but safe topic.

8. Allow time for the significant person in your life to respond. Remember, the other person may process emotions at a different tempo.

9. Celebrate reunion with touch. Remember there are many ways to connect intimately without engaging sexually. Share with each other how you can do things differently in the future.

Staying engaged in a romantic relationships requires daily commitment and frequent “tune ups.” Nothing happens automatically. With practice, though, you can learn to follow your intuition about the best timing for sensitive issues and steadily learn what works best for both of you. Choosing to keep romance alive in our hearts is a great adventure and joy in healthy aging!

For more helpful ideas about maintaining relationship health and vitality visit Dr. Dorothea’s website or purchase her most recent book, Second Chance at Your Dream (2009, Energy Psychology Press).