Equine Coaching: Leadership Through Vulnerability

Jane had just returned from a much needed vacation; a spiritual retreat she called it. She had been working for 9 years in her current position of Director of OD. She was stuck—something needed to give.

Jane was very much looking forward to the 2 day leadership retreat with the horses. She was very supportive of trying new methodologies for self and team discovery. Although she new little of the connection between leadership and horses, she knew from the accuracy of the Personal Leadership Assessment everyone had taken in advance of the workshop that this experience was going to be revealing no matter what happened.

One would never know what was really going on with Jane; no one human that is. She seemed happy and vibrant and full of support for her team. However, Dolly, a 17 year old alfa mare, had Jane’s number from the beginning.

This particular exercise required simply leading the horse. Now this is something you would think a leader could do quite easily. They have been directing and guiding people for years. And most leaders assume that those people are doing what they say and following them. Some go so far as to ‘inspect what they expect’. After 16 years consulting and coaching leaders, I can easily say most don’t.

For most humans, we can, and often do, make up our own version of reality that may not have anything to do with what is really happening. In the workplace or relationships in general, that may work—for awhile. For Jane, her ‘everything is fine’ façade stopped with Dolly, her equine partner.

Horses’ highly developed sensory systems ‘sense’ what is underneath the surface. They must in order to survive; their only defense being fight or flight. So, it is their nature to pick up unconscious cues to what is really happening. Because the human heart’s electro magnetic field is 5000 times greater than our brains, we are actually sending out signals that we are not consciously aware of—and that’s what the horses relate to. So although Jane’s outward appearance and mannerisms were relaxed and ‘normal’ to her team, inside and unconsciously as a result of her recent vacation/quest she was at odds with this version of herself.

In order to feel safe, horses need what they are sensing to match what they are seeing. And something about Jane didn’t line up. Dolly responded to Jane’s incongruency and mirrored the ‘stuckness’ by not moving. No matter what Jane did in an effort to ‘lead’ her, Dolly stayed in place. Silently Jane stopped trying to do what she knew was not going to happen. “She is showing me what I already know”, she said. Jane was in a very vulnerable position.

Not only was she experiencing a moment of personal conflict, she was doing it in front of her team. As she hid behind Dolly with tears in her eyes she said, “I can’t let them see me. I’ll just tell them…”. With gentle support from me and Dolly, Jane stopped, realizing that she must be herself—no matter what the ‘official Jane’ was feeling.

Throughout the remainder of the workshop, Jane was able to ‘be’ more completely. Her vulnerability led to a level of trust with her team that enabled them to have similar experiences. Now they have the opportunity and muscle memory to lead their teams through this same vulnerability. Through her session with Dolly, Jane experienced ‘real’ leadership and shared this with her team.

At the end of the two days, the team summed up what they had learned. One thing was very clear to them…their definition and concept of leadership had changed dramatically. This is the power, and the gift, of equine facilitated coaching.