Expecting Your Spouse To Make You Happy: How To Be Happy When Your Partner Is Not

You are going to crash land terribly if you have high hopes regarding marriage from a tender age. As a matter of fact, marriage is not at all a fairy tale episode which you always dream about after watching the Disney movies or the Hollywood's classics. Reality bites! Hence, you should be more practical instead of being a romantic blind as you are on the way to tie up the knot.

Exchanging vows is a great responsibility. You have to give more than keeping any expectations to get more. More than anything, you and your partner must be matured enough to balance things. Though compassion, communication, love, and respect you should have to overcome the odds and enjoy a blissful matrimonial life. By attending yoga classes or visiting a reputed sexual clinic you and your partner can learn to manage the expectations from the nuptial liaison.

Here are a few things elaborated for your understanding-

Keep less expectation

The secret mantra of a happy marriage is limited expectations and giving lots of unconditional love to your spouse. With big expectations, bigger heartbreaking incidents are related, thus, both the partners should keep their calm and compassionately understand the requirements and expectation levels of each other. This is how they can be more in love instead of increasing the expectation levels towards each other.

Talk freely with each other

Whether it's about your needs or any other thing in the relationship, you must try to discuss openly with your spouse. It is not only mandatory for the married couples; those who are in a love relationship can also practice the same to understand each other's wavelength.

Also, the free way of discussion helps to clear many things that often form clouds in a relationship. For example, if you find that your male partner is suffering from erectile dysfunction or other sexual problems like premature ejaculation, that is hampering the satisfactory union during the physical liaison, then you should discuss the matter with your partner.

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You may have seen a lot of couples go into divorce and this might leave you wondering what exactly are the keys to a happy marriage. There may not be a single formula to make marriage successful, but you can do many ways to make your marriage work.

If you are looking for ideas to maintain the life in your relationship with your spouse, here are some tips and ideas that could be your keys to a happy marriage.

- Communication. Communication most probably plays the biggest role in marriages and one of the most important keys to a happy marriage. Being able to talk to your spouse in about just anything is one good thing in marriage. Stay connected. A simple text message or a simple call would do when you are out working.

- Accept your differences. Realize that no matter how compatible you are with your spouse, there are always differences that will arise.

- Look at what is best with your spouse, not into the negative qualities you discover about him. You have to understand that your spouse has negative and positive qualities, and you have to learn to appreciate what is good about your partner.

- Forget about changing the other person. Trying to change the person to fit to your standards will not help you achieve anything in marriage.

- Add variety to your daily life. Giving your partner a little surprise every now and then is also helpful in eliminating monotony in the relationship.

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- Keep in mind that loving is giving. Do not always expect your spouse to do things for you, act the way you want them to be and give you all your desires. Instead, think of what you can do to him and what can make your spouse happy. Learn to give more than what your spouse gives you.

- Respect your spouse. Marrying someone does not mean owning her or him. Respect your partner's personal rights and be kind.

- Watch your thoughts as your thoughts can become your actions.

- Plan your finances together. Especially if it involves major decisions regarding the finances, always consult your partner.

- Give trust. Don't keep secrets from your spouse.

- Avoid criticism and nagging. Compliment if necessary. If there is something that you think that needs correcting, do it lovingly and do things positively as possible.

- Encourage one another. Giving each other support is one thing that spouses should do to each other rather than finding faults in each other.

- Keep the passion alive. Sex is an essential part of marriage. Be open when it comes to sexual matters. Add variety and enjoy the lovemaking.

- Have fun together. Marriage can become so boring if you can't even watch television together with your spouse or you haven't had a good laugh together. Find something that can both amuse you and your partner. Do something fun together.

- Do not stop telling your partner you love him or her. This may be as simple as it seems but it is one of the most important keys to a happy marriage.

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We love our partners, right? But we hate that they make us fight with them all the time. We don't like trouble, and marriage problems. And we hate that we cannot get the things that we want and sometimes even the things that we need. And we hate that we feel rubbish about the fact that whatever we do we do not seem to be heard, or appreciated.

If that sounds like you, rest assured you are not alone.

The problem is that with today's society, we seem to have lost the meaning of marriage. We are so caught up in earning enough money and having enough time to do everything else that our feelings and that of our partners, and even sometimes that of our families, seem to slide silently into the background, only to emerge later as a huge fight.

It tends to be a cycle. First a person works hard to earn the money for the necessities, and this takes up a great deal of time. Any time left seems to be taken up with sorting out bills, taking care of the house and yard, the car, visiting family, and other obligations.We end up feeling unheard, which then makes us frustrated. We inevitably take it out on our nearest and dearest, usually spouse and children.

In the meantime our spouse is doing pretty much the same thing, maybe they are more in charge of taking care of the children and house and work part time; and they are doing all they can and they feel unappreciated and hurt.

So both husband and wife are unhappy, and the cycle of arguments begins. Then when you add to the mix both spouses emotional baggage, then this ends up in a very volatile state of affairs.

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What you need to do is stop for a while, and make some time for a discussion. If you have to do this at midnight - so be it, because if you are sleepy at work one day and it saves your marriage, it will be worth it.

Acknowledge your partners feelings, and express your own feelings calmly. No raised voices. Say how you feel, and let your partner say how they feel. Think about what you both want, which is probably the same thing - enough money, enough time, and everyone to be relatively happy most of the time.

Decide how you are going to make changes so that you can both feel better about what you are striving to attain. So then you need to make sure you are on the same team. You both have to be pulling in the same direction. If there is a particular way you need to feel appreciated, whether it's by everyone putting their plates in the sink, or just by being greeted with a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye, this is the time to express that.

When you do this - that is when you can start to appreciate one another. You both have different roles to play in this thing called a marriage; but think of yourselves as on the same team. Your children will notice that Mom and Dad are pulling together, and this will not only give them a sense of harmony, but they will also start making things move in the right direction too.

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To build a marriage relationship takes a lot of time, love, effort, trust and sacrificial commitments. Invariably, it should take much too to separate. Although, separation in marriage is alarmingly increasing, especially among those who marry at tender age and those who enter into marriage with very high hopes. Thus hanging their bags where neither their hand nor their partner's hand can reach, forgetting that marriage needs constant commitment from both of you to emerge successful. Never the less, many marriages pass through so many types of struggles and frustrations due to unexpected manifestations as the marriages unfold. However, when you begin to experience these three strongest determinants of marriage separation you know it is time for separation.

1. Lack of love and loss of other essentials of marriage ingredients

If your marriage looses in totality the essential spices which stand as the bedrock of successful, enjoyable and beautiful marriage, such as love and affection, trust, respect, caring and commitment; it is definitely time for separation.

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2. Abandonment

Sanity in marriage demands that couples should live together forever and not to separate, leave or be left, no matter how politely peaceful or amicable the separation might seem to be, if you are divorced, you must feel hurt. My candid marriage advice for you is that, you should try to develop competency in your marriage. I assure you, yours is not worst than all other marriages that are withstanding separation threats. But, if for any reason your spouse washes his or her hands off your marriage and further abandons you for another woman or man, you know it is time for separation.

3. Incompatibility

Nothing endangers marriage like incompatibility. Incompatible couple can never live together. They are worse than cat and dog living together and nothing will ever work out well between them no matter how hard they may try to make it work. My marriage advice to you that is in this type of marriage is that you should be truthful enough to give an unbiased analysis of your marriage relationship with your spouse in all ramifications, you will be able to find out whether you are compatible or not. If you are incompatible in every way, simply give way to separation.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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