Faith And Trust: A Conversation

In discussing the concept of letting go and having faith and trust with a student in one of my groups she stated that she believed in God but was also afraid of God. She said, “I know you are supposed to let go and let God. But I can’t trust in a God that punishes.”
I asked her, “What about opening to a God that is love?”
“I’m afraid to open up to a loving God because I don’t feel worthy of it. I also couldn’t trust in it,” she said.
I asked, “If you believed in a God that is all love what would that be like?”
“To me a loving God is someone who watches over you, protects you and is always there for you,” she said, “And I can’t trust that.”
“I can’t trust that God either,” I said blatantly. “God doesn’t love and protect us. We have to do that for ourselves.”

“Then what do you believe God is?” she asked.
“I believe there’s a universal life force. And this life force encompasses an intelligence greater than all of us. You know the expression, ‘The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.’ And even Einstein said, ‘My comprehension of God comes from the deeply felt conviction of a superior intelligence that reveals itself in the knowable world.’ God to me is pure intelligence. Pure consciousness. Total awareness. It’s the intelligence of us all. And in that intelligence or awareness is a means to infinite peace, love, and wisdom. We are the ones who can access those positive energies, and it depends on what’s going on inside us that transmits out and comes back in some form. Therefore, whatever we get is a direct correlation to what we put out. We reward and punish ourselves.”

“Then why all the suffering?” she asked.

“We are given lessons on how to live Godly, which to me means living with unconditional love, and when we don’t we are reminded by what feels like reprimand. It’s the law of cause and effect. What we put out comes back. Again, since we do the directing, we’re the ones doing it to ourselves.”

“Where does the Holocaust or 9/11, fit in here?” she asked.

“I can’t say why that happened to each person involved – or what their individual soul lesson was. But the world certainly learned lessons.”

“So you don’t believe in a man up there?” she asked.

“I believe in cause and effect and we’re the cause.”

“Then what do you pray to?” she asked.

I immediately wanted to say light and love, but what did that really mean? Then, automatically out of my mouth came, “I don’t pray to, I pray for what I want and I always start with asking for peace, love, wisdom and understanding. And, when I experience an openness, for the lack of a better word, I call that sensatio
God. But I don’t think of God as a person who watches over to reward and punish. It’s an energy force of pure love intelligence. And within that “all intelligence” is a part of my consciousness that knows all about me. I consider that my Higher Self. And I communicate with this higher part of me through instincts, inklings, sensations, feelings, thoughts, words and deeds. I have witnessed in this lifetime that what I think and perceive, how I feel, the way I speak, and how I act creates what I attract to me and receive. And, I have a sense that these thoughts, feelings, words and actions can come from the beginning of time – my time, the first time my soul came into being – probably many lifetimes before this one. And what I came in with in this life is based on what I may have done in past lifetimes positively and negatively – my Karma. And, not only that, I also believe we come in with a structure of DNA affecting behavior patterns that create not only medical conditions carried forth from ancestors but mental and emotional issues as well. We come into a body with tendencies to act and react in certain ways.”

“Watching my behavior, seeing how people react to me, listening to myself think and speak and noticing how I feel, gives me clues to my lessons. My role is to correct the unloving parts of myself, – to become all loving by loving myself. Since what I think, believe, feel, say and do, creates what I get in life then in essence I am God in my own universe. And you are God in your own universe. And everyone else is God in his or her own universe. Together we make up the greater whole of intelligence. When we allow ourselves to receive love, and feel the love within ourselves we open to a greater intelligence filled with love; unconditional love, Higher Self love. Divine love.”

“So you believe you have to love yourself, which means you have to trust in yourself,” she said.

“Exactly,” I said excited that she understood the concept, and listening to my own words I was hearing my philosophy of my relationship to the universe, faith and trust. “I constantly work on trusting in myself to stay connected with these greater forces by processing my thoughts and feelings and that’s when I sense a warm, loving presence and often get inspiration and guidance from a higher intuitive level. And, I know that what comes to me is what I need for my soul to evolve – to learn to love. And when I respond to what comes in pro-active rather than reactive ways, I see positive things come to fruition. And that’s where my inner faith emerges. My belief is we each are a God in our own universe and we co-partner with a greater Good – all intelligence. And, since my perception of God is good, we have the potential to be good and act Godly and therefore be great ourselves.

She laughed. “I like that,” she said determined to change. “So I don’t have to believe in a loving God,” she went on, “I just see myself as love and love myself. And, when I do that I’ll feel a part of the greater whole and a greater love. And that’s when I’ll feel guided and supported. That’s when I’ll have faith from the inside out because I will experience it.”

“Right on,” I cheered. “There’s a certainty about it because you experience it internally and even see it in action. And that comes when you nurture and love yourself enough to feel the love within.”

Invitation: I invite you to pray for love, wisdom, and kindness, allow yourself to receive these qualities and watch and see what happens.

Staying in touch and in love,
Penny