When it comes to how someone behaves, it can primarily be the result of what is taking place in their body or what is taking place inside their head. In order words, it can be a reflection of their true self or their false self.

Therefore, in order for one to express their true self, they will need to be in touch with their body. At this point, one could wonder why their true self is found in their body, not their head.

Going Deeper

The reason for this is that their feelings and most of their needs will be found in this area of their being, not their head. So, while their mind will have a part to play when it comes to expressing who they are, it alone won’t be where their true essence is located.

What this further illustrates is that their body is not just something that supports their head; it is the part of their being that will provide them with guidance and wisdom. By following the guidance that is inside them, they will be able to live a life that is worth living.

A Different Experience

Thus, if someone is not in touch with their body, they won’t be in touch with their true self. As they won’t have access to the guidance that is inside them, they will have to rely on their mind to guide them.

This part of them will look towards others for guidance and it will give them the urge to do what will please others. Living in this way will allow them to gain approval but it probably won’t set their heart on fire.


However, although one will be living on the surface of themselves, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. This could show that living in this way is normal, which prevents them from being able to see what is going on.

One can then often feel frustrated and even miserable, yet they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak. Ultimately, it won’t occur to them that they are estranged from themselves and that this is why they are experiencing life in this way.

The Foundations Were Laid

This can mean that they disconnected from their body very early on and their mind has forgotten about what it was like to be connected to their body. To this part of them, there is not going to be anything wrong with how they experience life.

As for why they disconnected from their body, this can show that they often felt overwhelmed during this stage of their life. Through being traumatised and not feeling safe enough to inhabit their body, they would have automatically separated from themselves.

A Defence

Living up top would have meant that their focus was primarily on what was going on around them as opposed to what was going on inside them. Tuning into their caregivers needs would have caused them to neglect themselves but this would have been a way for them to survive.

Over time, doing what other people wanted would have come to feel comfortable, and they would no longer be aware of most of their needs and feelings. Their view of themselves would have most likely been, and continue to be, a consequence of what allowed them to be approved of and “loved” as a child.


Many years will have passed since this stage of their life but the pain that they experienced all those years ago will still be held inside their body. Unconsciously, then, they are likely to have the need to avoid this part of their being.

This will be where their treasure will be found. As their life is unlikely to be very fulfilling, part of them will want to find this treasure, but a stronger part of them won’t want to face the pain that goes with it.

A House Of Cards

Even so, sooner or later, something could happen externally that will cause their false self to come crashing down. For example, they could lose their job, experience a breakup or lose a loved one.

The mental construct that they had in place and allowed them to “keep it all together” will have fallen apart. With this out of the way or hanging by a thread, they will have been reacquainted with the pain that has been held inside them for however many years.

A Big Shift

After this has taken place, they, along with others, could struggle to understand what has happened. Before they may have come across as strong and confident but now they could be emotionally unstable and very fearful.

Their false self will have allowed them to act like an adult and now this has crumbled, they will be in touch with how they really feel and this can mean that they will feel like a scared and powerless child. Thanks to what they went through as a child and as this pain has stayed inside them, they will have stayed in an emotionally undeveloped state.

An Important Point

The way for them to emotionally grow up and to feel like a powerful adult won’t be for them to “change their thoughts”; it will be for them to process their emotional pain. If this pain had been thought into existence, it would be different.

Yet, as this pain will be coming from their emotional wounds, it will be oozing out of their emotional body. If one was to try to remove this pain by thinking differently, it is unlikely to work, and, even if it does, they will just be engaging in another form of repression – a type of repression that is often unknowingly encouraged by mental health professionals.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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