FEAR: Are You the Master of it's Victim?

Dear Jan:

I have just been offered a job transfer, but it is out of town. I have lived here almost my whole life, and not being a risk taker, feel quite uncomfortable in making the change. I know it would be good for me but I feel torn by the fears that keep coming up and tormenting me.
Signed: Torn by Fear

Dear Torn by Fear:

Change affects each of us differently, depending on the impact that the Change would have on our lives and also in how rooted we are in maintaining our comfort zones.

Funny thing about comfort zones, no matter how bad or stagnant our life is, or how dangerous it may be to our physical and/or mental health (or that of our loved ones) the fear of not knowing what is beyond what we can see becomes so overpowering to us that some would rather remain in a no win situation than take the risk of having what they deserve.

Fear robs people of their dreams, Life doesn't.

Fear is not an emotion. It is the instinctive part of our self; set up to warn us of tangible dangers such as crossing the street when a car is rapidly careening toward us.

Our instincts were appropriately established in the days of the cave man, when it was the primary requirement for day to day existence. But unfortunately, our instinctive temperament still maintains a ruling spotlight in that we constantly have to soothe and calm the scared child within, ensuring her/him that we will still have the physical, monetary, or status security even if we leave the current situation.

Fear is recognizable and so it becomes a tool for us to use in determining whether what we are fearful of is real or unreal. Real is the car speeding toward us as we are stepping off the curb, or the small child reaching to touch the hot burner on the stove. These are tangible dangers and we can readily see the immediate and real consequence.

Unreal fear usually has a 'What If?' question attached to it: If I change careers, what if I can't make enough money in the new job?, If I leave this relationship, what if I can't find a better one . . .or any one?, If I change, what if my friends don't like me any longer -- or maybe I wouldn't like them any more?

Fear supports and promotes setting ourselves up as victims. But we are always at choice, each moment of every day, whether to be a victim or a master. Unreal fear is a block to our having what we deserve.

And so intuition may be used to get our attention that we are on the wrong track . Intuition is that part of us, deep within, that has the Knowingness of what is really True.... where ego and illusion do not interfere and What Is So speaks to us when we are ready to listen.

The last lines of a very special verse, entitled RISK IT, really illustrates this subject. The author is unknown.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel,change, grow, love, live.
Only a person who risks is free.

Jan White specializes in counseling issues of anxiety, trauma, depression, relationships, loss, unresolved core issues and chronic illness. She can be reached at (509)230-1964. Questions for response can be emailed to janwhite@artistryofchange.net