Although human beings are feeling beings who think as opposed to thinking beings who feel, this is not something that is widely recognised. In general, it’s as if human beings are primarily thinking beings that also have feelings.

So, in the same way that the tip of the iceberg is the smallest part of an iceberg, the feeling part of a human being will be the smallest part of them. The mind, then, is going to be far more important than the emotional part of their being.

Cast Aside

A clear example of this outlook can be found in the education system, with how the emotional part of a human being is typically ignored. The main focus here is usually for someone’s mind to be educated (indoctrinated).

Yet, if this is the main part of someone’s being and their emotional self is very small, why do anything else? Clearly, it would be a complete waste of time for someone to spend time trying to understand part of their being that is so small and insignificant.

The Solution

If someone does struggle with their emotions, they are likely to find that there is plenty of support available. Through working with a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, for instance, one may learn how to manage their emotions.

This is likely to be a time when they will be told that their thoughts create their feelings - which makes sense considering that their emotional self is very small - and through managing their thoughts, they will be able to sort their emotions out. A simple answer to a very simple problem will have been provided.

Two Sides

But, if someone doesn’t find it hard to manage this part of them, what they may find is that it is hard for them to connect with their feelings. What this can mean is that they will spend a fair amount of time in their head and very little time in their body.

Through experiencing life in this way, it may mean that they are unable to form deeper connections with others and that they look towards the external world when it comes to how to live their life.

The Norm

If they were to come see that they are generally out of touch with how they feel, it could show that something significant has taken place in their life. The reason for this is that experiencing life in this way could have been normal, meaning that it wouldn’t have stood out before.

Perhaps it has become hard for them to experience life in this way, having experienced years and years of loneliness and a sense of inner emptiness. What may have also played a part is that someone in their life may have passed on or they may have been in a relationship that came to an end, which would have opened them up emotionally.

Two Extremes

One could then have gone from a very disconnected place, to being completely overwhelmed by how they feel. At one point in time they would have been in a desert and, at another, they would have been in a jungle.

If this was to happen, one may struggle to go along with the view that their emotional self is very small compared with their mental self. What might seem more accurate would be to say that their emotional self is far bigger than their mental self.

An Inaccurate View

What they may try to do at this stage is to manage their feelings by changing their thoughts, only for this approach to be of no use whatsoever. It will be clear that the mental part of their being is the tip of the iceberg, not the other way around.

What will be perfectly clear is that they are a feeling being who thinks, not a thinking being who feels. For many, many years, if not most of their life, then, one will have denied a big part of who they are, and now they will be in touch with it again.

The Cause

If this was how they had been for as long as they can remember, it can show that this part of their being was more or less ignored during their early years. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected during this time, and their caregivers may have also been emotionally disconnected.

It would have been clear that their feelings were not important and would not be acknowledged, so losing touch with them would have been a way for them to avoid pain. This part of their being would have informed them about how bad their environment was, something that they wouldn’t have been able to change.

The Only Choice

The ideal would have been for them to listen to their feelings and to get out of the dysfunctional environment, but this wasn’t something that they could have done. The only option that was available to them was to lose touch with a big part of themselves.

Leaving the environment wasn’t possible, yet leaving their body was something that they could do. The only alternative to doing this would have been for them to stay in their body and to be overwhelmed with pain.


If they felt safe enough to exist during this stage of their life and their feelings were acknowledged, there would have been no reason for them to become a divided human being. Ultimately, the time in their life when they should have been able to grow and develop, was a time when they had to do everything they could to survive.

If someone can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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