You can divorce as friends! Sound impossible? Well, it's not! You
have everything you need to heal your relationship. You just need to learn how.

Maybe you'll fall back in love and stay together in a way that works. Maybe you'll need to
go your separate ways.

Whatever happens, you can be free of the hurt and the turmoil. You can restore your peace
of mind and get on with your life.

If you decide to go your separate ways, you can save a fortune in attorney fees, not to
mention all the pain and suffering that normally accompanies divorce.

The key to healing your relationship, and having it work, is you.

How you interact towards the other person determines how that person will interact towards
you. How you interact towards each other determines whether your relationship will be
painful or supportive.

Once you discover your role in the conflict, you can do something about it.

Unfortunately, we seldom notice that we have anything to do with what is happening. All we
can see is how the other person treats us. We then treat the other person accordingly.

If we receive love and appreciation, we'll give love and appreciation. If we receive
criticism and resentment, we'll give criticism and resentment. We treat the other person
according to how that person treats us.

The problem with this is that the other person is doing exactly the same thing. That
person treats you according to how you treat him or her.

When you treat each other based on how you get treated, there is no telling what will
happen. It's like sailing with no one at the helm. When no one is in charge of the ship,
you're likely to end up on the rocks.

Usually it's just a matter of time until someone gets upset. That person then puts up his
or her walls of protection and either resists, attacks or withdraws. Then the other person
gets upset and does the same thing. Then the first person gets more upset and reacts more
forcefully toward the other.

Without knowing, you create a cycle of resisting, attacking and withdrawing from each
other. This cycle of conflict then continues on and on without either person ever noticing
his or her role in the problem.

Sides get drawn and issues become something to fight over rather than something to
resolve. Walls of protection get fortified and distance grows. The experience of love
quickly fades away.

We hurt each other over and over again, feeling fully justified for everything we do.
Serious damage is done, and none of it is necessary.

Two people are required in order to create and maintain this cycle of conflict. Only one
is needed to end it.

If you want to heal your relationship and be free of the suffering, you need to end this
cycle. To do this, you need to interact in a way that puts water on the fire instead of
more fuel.

You need to put the focus on healing your relationship, not necessarily as husband and
wife, but as one human being to another.

To the extent that you are able to do this, you gain cooperation instead of resentment.
Issues get resolved quickly. You become free inside and able to get on with your life.

What you do today determines what will happen in your relationship tomorrow. Whether your
relationship is painful or supportive is up to you. The choice is yours.

To end the cycle of conflict and to heal your relationship, there are basically two steps
that you need to take:

(1) You need to find and heal the inner issues that create your hurt, fuel the conflict
and cause any hanging on.

(2) You need to release any upset, resentment, blaming or hanging on that you may have
towards the other person.

Once you do this, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your
situation differently. You can see what needs to be done and you can interact in a way
that is very effective. You can end the conflict and restore the love, one human being to
another.

As you end the conflict and restore the love, one human being to another, everything else
takes care of itself. Either you'll stay together in a way that works or you'll part as
friends, being fully supportive of each other.

Click here to learn more about how to
divorce as friends. For more support, consider having an Individual Telephone Consulting Session
with Bill Ferguson or a member of his staff
.

Author's Bio: 

As a former divorce attorney, 15% of Bill Ferguson’s clients never divorced and the ones who did were able to part as friends. He has been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show and on hundreds of radio and television talk shows across the country. He has led over 2,500 workshops and has worked with thousands of people. His books, How To Heal A Painful Relationship, Heal The Hurt That Runs Your Life and Miracles are Guaranteed, have become best-sellers. He presently leads workshops in Houston and does individual consulting by telephone. He can be reached at (713) 520-5370 or on the internet at
http://www.effectiveliving.com.