So many men and women tell me they want a mate in their life. Some just do not want to be alone. Others think it will make their life easier. While many others just want to have someone with whom to share their life. How many of you have considered the possibility of sharing yourself? I believe at the deepest of levels we as humans, are made to connect and not to be alone. However, I also believe that in order to truly connect with another person, we must first be connected to ourselves. We must know who we are at all levels, accept and love what is there. It’s not just me who believes this, ask any dating or relationship coaches, and they will tell you the same.

When we take the time to know what is important to us, to tap into our heart and embrace our passions, we have so much more to offer someone else. When we are willing to offer the whole of ourselves with honesty and trust, then we attract someone who also is willing to do the same. When we are living our lives fully, embracing all that life has to offer we are sending a message of happiness and gratitude to the world. The universe responds in kind. What you put your attention on grows stronger in your life, so if your attention is on lack, need, loneliness, rather than on contentment, acceptance, and passion then don’t be surprised with the results.

Being alone is an opportunity to embrace the beauty of who you are, to see the gift of yourself, to enjoy your own company, to find what makes you tick, to discover what you are most passionate about in this life.
Being alone is a gift to yourself to fine-tune what it means to live your life whether alone or with another. If you do not enjoy your own company, how in the world do you expect someone else to enjoy you?

If you are bored and lonely and cannot see the joy in this moment regardless of what you are doing or who you are with, then what makes you think someone else can change that for you? When you are clear about who you are and what is important to you, and put attention on those things, your life will be fulfilling and rewarding.

When I was a teenager, I received a card with the following line included as part of the poem, “If you are not happy with what you’ve got, how can you be happy with more?” This makes so much sense to me and has been a reminder for me all these years to be present and grateful for whom I am and what I have whenever I find myself complaining.

Are you excited about sharing yourself with another who complements you, or are you desperate to share your life with someone? Can you see the difference between the two? In the first you are present, alive, whole, and very attractive, confident that you will wait for the right one. In the second you are sad, wanting, needing, and willing to take anyone. Who would you rather BEE– attractive and confident or needy and desperate? Conversely what kind of mate do you want to attract? Be the love you are seeking and you will find it.

If you are not happy with yourself and your life, how will you attract a mate who is happy with themselves or with you, for that matter?

Two happy people create a happy couple.

Take the time alone to get to know who you are, your values, your passions, and what is important to you. Enjoy you! Love you! Embrace you! Then get ready for magic.

I LOVE my life!! I love my family Sunday dinners! My perfect day includes walking on the beach. I love meeting my friends for our weekly lunch. The rock climbing group I joined rocks! I've reconnected to my love of art and sketch twice weekly. Attitude of Gratitude. The perfect partner for me laughs easily and often. We spend quality time together. My perfect partner listens with an open heart and mind. My perfect mate loves to cook and entertain. My perfect mate is an engaged parent, yet sets healthy boundaries for his kids. I love that my partner respects my need for alone time. We enjoy taking pictures of nature together.

Author's Bio: 

Cheri Valentine is your love connection expert. She specializes in guiding busy professional leaders and business owners to find long lasting love to enjoy as much happiness and success in their personal lives as they do in their career. Cheri’s philosophy inspired love by design combined with her strong, supportive nature is reflected in her signature coaching programs. She believes everyone deserves to love and be loved unconditionally, to experience life passionately and to forge happy and healthy relationships. Cheri’s own efforts to make sense of her ended marriages and relationships fueled her determination to get it right, be happy and find the right partner. She has succeeded and recently married her perfect mate. She wants to show you how she did it, and how you can, too, just like the many men and women she has helped to find love. Visit for your FREE 4 step kit to Attract Your Perfect Mate.