So many people tell me that it’s impossible to find someone who is everything that they want, and that they must settle. This is only true if you believe it to be. You can spend your time thinking that you will never meet the right mate OR you can think thoughts that affirm you will meet a person who is perfect for you. Allow your thoughts to focus on the most alluring qualities for a harmonious relationship for you. You can do this by creating a

With these qualities being the ones that are requisites and by committing to yourself that you will wait until you meet this person, you will never be settling. You will be taking the time now to clearly define what is important to you in a mate.

Begin by generating a written list of the 50 qualities you ever dreamed you wanted in a mate. Look at past relationships and dating experiences, writing down all the aspects that were great and worked as well as positive characteristics you noticed in others. If you find unfavorable impressions come to mind, then restate these as positive attributes that are appealing to you.

Next narrow your list to the 20 most winning characteristics a partner must possess. Be honest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers here. You are looking deep into yourself to create a life that suits you. This is impossible if you are not honest. Remember also that these are the qualities in a mate desirable to you, not your mother or friends. This is your life and your relationship. If you are having difficulty with this exercise take the opportunity to question why and make some improvements. Release any limiting beliefs so that you can allow the favorable results in.

Now choose the 5 things you could not possibly live without in a partner. This is your non-negotiable list. It is your general compass to know when you meet the right one. Finally, define each of these qualities in your words. Describe in detail what these qualities mean to you. For example, being generous can mean several things. What does it mean to you?

The clearer we are about who we are and what we want in a partner, the higher the likelihood of meeting and recognizing them when you do. As you get to know the one who has your 5 essentials, you may be surprised to find that they possesses many of the qualities from you larger list.

By promising to wait until you meet the person in ownership of your top 5, you avoid the common mistake of falling for someone whom you care about because they have some of the qualities that you desire, yet not the most important. It also helps you make a decision from conscious choice rather than from what feels comfortable from unconscious habit. You can decide whether you will settle or take control of finding the right mate for you.

What we create in our life is a result of how clearly we know what we want and whether we allow it. Using a TOP FIVE Absolute Essential List as your measurement, and knowing what these qualities are will prevent you from allowing yourself to settle for someone. Enjoying relations that are loving and satisfying begins with you identifying what that means, and loving yourself enough to wait until you find the one that is perfect for you.

Author's Bio: 

Cheri Valentine is your love connection expert. She specializes in guiding busy professional leaders and business owners to find long lasting love to enjoy as much happiness and success in their personal lives as they do in their career. Cheri’s philosophy inspired love by design combined with her strong, supportive nature is reflected in her signature coaching programs. She believes everyone deserves to love and be loved unconditionally, to experience life passionately and to forge happy and healthy relationships. Cheri’s own efforts to make sense of her ended marriages and relationships fueled her determination to get it right, be happy and find the right partner. She has succeeded and recently married her perfect mate. She wants to show you how she did it, and how you can, too, just like the many men and women she has helped to find love. Visit for your FREE 4 step kit to Attract Your Perfect Mate.