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Finding Your Soul Mate with Parents' Help

Written by Farheen Rizvi

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished January 10, 2013
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Cultural practices largely affect how we might select a partner to marry. In the western society, the responsibility of finding your spouse lies solely on your shoulders. Whereas in many areas of the eastern world, this job is solely for the family and sometimes to the extent that your opinions are not even considered. The later would welcome ridicule and awe if discussed in a western gathering. Even though this approach is rather extreme in nature, if exercised in moderation could help open many doors of new possibilities for all of us.

A lot of us are fortunate enough that we are surrounded by people who share our common interests and values. It becomes easier to find your partner when both of the people can appear in the same location. However, what about the people that do not have such easy access to compatible individuals who they can be together with? These limitations can be brought in due to seeking a specific kind of compatibility in beliefs and values. For example, a Hindu girl living in a Muslim country like Pakistan, and wanting to seek Hindu values in her partner will have a harder time meeting her mate in an environment surrounded by Muslim males. In many cases, she may not even find her guy from her surroundings but have to look elsewhere. In this case, she may resort to seeking help from her friends and rely on meeting people based upon her friends’ recommendations. For example, a singles night organized at a friend’s house might be an interesting start. Even though the girl does not have access to her ideal mate from her immediate surrounding, she can hope to meet this person at a party where people from many different areas are invited. Such broadening of search could definitely increase her chances of finding an ideal mate.

In a similar manner, parents can help you find your ideal partner when circumstances do not allow you to find one on your own. Parents can prove beneficial in this scenario because they are older and have many contacts through which your chances of finding a suitable match are increased. Parents also mean well for you and care for your happiness deeply. You can rely on their recommendations. They will not suggest an incompetent individual for you. Parents’ referral are far much more trustworthy and safe than how a dating website attempts to match you with your potential mate. In addition, whomsoever they suggest would know you have someone who is protecting you from harm, and this can help keep the ones with ill intentions away from you. You can also express your thoughts freely to your parents and not have to worry about them judging you or taking your comments personally. They have more experience and they can give you great advice along the way. If you do succeed in finding your partner with your parents’ help, this is one less issue to worry about because you can skip the step of introducing your partner to your family and wondering if you will get approval or not. You already have their approval. Moreover, in your marriage, you will enjoy your parents’ support and because they desired your union, they will always want to strengthen your marriage.

Some points of conce
are that you can exercise caution that parents should not influence your thinking on your decision to marry or not. Their purpose is to introduce a suitable mate for you, not to make the decision. You can ensure that you make this decision independently and not become affected with their ideas. It is also wise to be aware that while your parents can care about you, no parents can have similar ideals as yours. Therefore, if you have some fundamental differences in beliefs and values from your parents, you can communicate them so that your parents become aware of your thoughts. This will help both of you narrow the search, and not suggest incompatible partners for you. Because of heavy involvement of your parents in your union, you could lean towards relying on them in resolving marital affairs in your marriage. You can make sure that you are able to take control and not become influenced with outside sources.

In summary, do not overlook the idea of asking parents and seeking their help in finding your partner. Every approach has positives and negatives. As long as you emphasize the positives, and have someway to minimize the negatives, you will enjoy success.

Article author

About the Author

Author is an Aerospace Engineer working for NASA-JPL. She received her bachelors and masters in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Colorado-Boulder in 2010. She also has keen interest in the cultural arts. She is a 25-year-old female, originally from India. She has recently been engaged to her partner with her parents' help and says that this experience proved better than when she tried to find someone on her own.

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