First night of Marriage

Most of you reading this article , might have passed your first wedding night while many others have been planning not only to face the first night of a wedding but preparing to make it as a memorable moment or worth remembering chapter of life. As the days come to closer to one’s marriage, excitement, elation and ecstasy pump through the bride and groom. They start waiting anxiously for the first wedding night. As for the night, it is going to play a crucial role in turning the pages of a bride and a groom’s lives. Even it is considered as a starting point of a new chapter with a partner who is ready to walk all paths of life holding hand in hand and giving strength to each other. So how should you begin your precious moment and new glorious chapter and what to do at first night of a wedding?
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The night, however, remains fantasy night for both the bride and the groom, even in some marriages the bride have not seen the groom and neither the groom did, so, this increases, on the one hand much more curiosity between them, on the other it creates a little bit confusion. Hence the discussion at this night should be promising and passionate to each other, because the dialogues taking place at this night will consequently have great effect on their entire lives. So the bride should be an obeying and the groom should be an understanding person. It will be good and so much easier for both to build real intimacy between them when they come to the wedding night considering themselves as true partners or wearing a learner’s hat because learners don’t have anything to lose but everything to gain. The groom sometimes has much more expectations, desires and hopes in mind about his partner, so does the bride, but when the things don’t go according to their desires, it causes serious disappointment. Therefore, don’t have a great expectation whatsoever. Instead, believe in destiny; accept one another as you are, for human doesn’t have whatever he desires. Now, you both have become the husband and wife; leave past in the past; start new life from here; strive to be a good partner for one another, not just for a couple of months but for the rest of marital life.(Hifz Classes)
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The relation between a husband and a wife is just like ping pong game, if one is disappointed or angry then other should keep the relation to go on. That is why the husband and wife must bond with one another psychologically, physically mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The duo should be comforting, respecting and caring individual for one another. If it necessary for a husband to respect emotion of his wife, hear her words, care for her complaints, wipe her tears and alleviate her sadness, then it is necessary for a wife as well to guard herself and her belongings, discuss her matters with the husband, support him in difficulties, obey him and try to be merry and to make him happy although the matrimonial life. At this night, the husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, and pray for Allah's blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet (PBUH): "When any of you marries a woman, he should hold her forelock, mention Allah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying: Allaahumma 'innee 'as'aluka khayrahaa wa khayra majabaltahaa 'alayhi wa 'a'oothu bika min sharrihaa wa sharri maajabaltahaa 'alayhi.
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O Allah, I ask You for the goodness of her and the goodness upon which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil of her and from the evil upon which You have created her. (Abu Dawud 2/248 and Ibn Majah 1/617.) Then it would be much better for a husband to offer her a memorable present and some sweets or anything as he likes because it is desirable, when one goes to his wife on his wedding night, to show his kindness, such as offering her something to drink or presenting her a memorable present.
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This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa' bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: "I beautified 'As'ishah for Allaah's Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to 'Aa'ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: "Take from the hand of the Prophet." She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, "Give some to your companion." At that point, I said: "O Messenger of Allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand." He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: "Give them some." But, they said: "We don't want it." (ie. we are not hungry). The Prophet said: "Do not combine hunger and fibbing!" [Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with two isnaads - one of which supports the other, and it is supported...]"
Now, let me quote a great dialogue that one of the noble companions had with his wife at the first wedding night. It is narrated that Hazrat Abu Dardah(may Allah be pleased with him) said to his wife, “If I ever become angry, you will try to subside my anger and please me if you ever become angry, I’ll try to subside your anger and please you otherwise our matrimonial ties is not going to last forever.” Just think how wonderful and golden principle he discussed in few words with his wife in order to lead disputation-free joyful life. For it quite frequently happens between a husband and a wife that sometimes the husband gets angry with her and sometimes she gets angry with him only for a trifle matter but if each of them try to subside one another’s anger, there will be no anger but elation and bliss in life. If you have such dialogue at the first marriage night with your life partner, it will indeed lead to a life of consummate happiness and then the marital life will go on smoothly in excitement with fulfillment of all sorts of need.
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