Five Questions to Ask Yourself and Determine If You Are Ready for Change

If you’ve read any self-help, personal development or goal-setting articles or books, you know that making changes in your behavior is essential to reaching your goals. Whether it is one behavior, like changing your self--talk from negative to positive, or multiple behaviors, there is often something you are doing now that is creating an obstacle to achieving your desired goal. Making changes in your behavior is rarely easy, but it is infinitely rewarding when those changes lead you to the place where you want most to be. Behavioral experts say it takes anywhere from 21-60 days of consistent behavior to make that behavior a habit. This means a lot of effort on your part to stay on track. Successful behavior change requires readiness. Only you can make the choice to change your own behavior. When others try to make someone change, they set up themselves and their target to fail. No one can make someone else change. You have to be the driver and navigator of your own behavior change or the process simply will not succeed. So how do you know if you’re ready for change? Whenever you are setting goals or striving for personal growth, here are five questions to ask yourself and answer honestly to determine if you are ready to make changes in your behavior to reach a goal. 1. What really matters to me? When was the last time you thought about your core values, the things that identify you as you? If you aren’t conscious of your values, you’re less likely to be ready for change. Take time to discover what really matter to you. You can find numerous, free exercises on the Internet that can help you uncover your core values. Some exercises provide you with a list to get you thinking. That's great, but don't let yourself be limited by a list. Your values are unique, your own. Make sure the list you do end up with accurately reflects the individual that you are. 2. Where am I right now in my life? Are you where you want to be? Resist the temptation to compare your life today to what you imagined it being five years ago. The past is the past, and because it is unchangeable, regretting past choices becomes unnecessary roadblocks keeping you from moving forward. The adage “today is the first day of the rest of my life” may be cliché, but it’s 100% true. You’re no longer the same person you were five years ago, so when you have questions about your future, begin from where you are right now. Ask yourself: If I could be doing what I love, what would that look like? If there were no such things as obstacles, what would I be doing right now? What’s missing in my life? If you’re writing down your responses to these questions, use present tense verbs only; it will help to keep you planted in the present. 3. Are my relationships positive, mutual and supportive? Look at the people you relate to on a regular basis: family, friends, work colleagues, neighbors, etc. How would you describe each relationship: positive, nurturing, mutual, strained, friendly, tolerable…? If any relationships that you value are not strong and positive, and you wish to improve it, this can be an indicator that you are ready for behavior change. You cannot change someone else’s behavior. So if you want to improve a relationship, you’ll want to look at your behavior in that relationship and what changes might make a difference. 4. How do I take care of myself? You can’t give the people you love your best when you don’t make sure that you are at your best. What are you doing to ensure that you are healthy, alert, happy, loved and loving? If you can’t remember the last time you set aside quality time just for you and you’re feeling stressed and tired, you’re definitely ready for change. 5. Where do I want to be in five years? Setting goals demonstrates readiness for change. We’re talking about real goals: specific, challenging, value-based dreams that you want to achieve. Goal-setting is not an easy process. Think about it. When something was handed to you easily, did you value it more or less than something you worked hard to gain? Most people find increased self-esteem and long-term gratification in making an effort to earn something. Goals that are based on your values are more likely to be achieved because your success will feed some aspect of the person you are and want to become. You’ll be able to maintain the motivation and energy to move forward. If you need more support, consider hiring a life coach. Coaches can help you explore what matters most to you and if those things are present in all aspects of your life or missing, which can inspire you to be ready for change. So how about it, are you ready for change? If you are, congratulations! Knowing you are ready is a huge first step in effecting behavior change. Once you know you are ready and making the choice for yourself, you are well-prepared to articulate where you want to be, where you are right now, and creating a clearly defined path that will bridge the gap between the two.