Sex does not magically happen. You are stymied by a lack of time and energy and having kids have only caused sex from being erratic to the point of non-existent. You love your spouse and want to keep an intimate connection. However life gets in the way. Sex has turned into a dull routine and you don’t know how to rekindle your connection. Recognise that having a healthy and positive sex life takes effort, and scheduling sex is a part of it.

Talk about sex – Without honesty, patience, and the ability to be vulnerable, it is not possible to let your loved one know what you like in bed. Also, because your desires and preferences may change over time, sexual communication must be an ever-evolving process.

Examine your Sexual Pattern - We are all unique in the way we like to be touched. Do not to presume what your partner likes, and that just because something feels good one day does not mean it will be the same during every sexual experience. Examine your current sexual pattern. In other words, what is usually happening during love making?

Make Time for Sex – It is important for couples to begin by having a honest discussion with how often they need to have sex versus how often they would ideally like to have sex. There needs to be a conversation about the role sex plays in a relationship and why it is important.

Prepare for Sex – Putting it on the calendar is not enough. We are all so stress-ridden, and shifting to sex while under stress does not work well. To prepare ourselves, and there are some specific steps to do that – whatever works best for you is what counts. You might get into something that makes you feel sexy or handsome-looking.

Acquire More Sexual Skills – Did you know that it was possible to massage a male penis or female vulva to orgasm? If yes, how many different ways do you know? If your answer is below three, this might be your reason why sex life is getting monotonous. Find out the availability of sexual techniques classes for couples.

With some creativity, imagination and planning, both passion and excitement can be sustained in sexual intimacy. Keep the fire burning. It is worth it. You’re worth it.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit or email