Five Tips on Being More Confident

For some people confidence seems like a precious commodity at the best of times and then for others it appears that they have more than their fair share. It’s a massive part of our lives and can stop us from enjoying ourselves, making decisions or communicating. The very simplest things can be magnified into painful complexity or become awkward. The following five tips are about opening up a few doors and considering some new philosophies which will help you become more confident in the things that you do and in yourself. I hasten to add I am not a doctor; these are tips not medical advice and serve as a great starting base to further help with confidence issues.

1) Perspective

As we feel the crushing weight of a situation or the worry building inside pause and consider that we’re all part of one huge world. That it is a complex place with many possibilities and all of these providing their own kind of right. Considered that there is no black and white, more shades of grey and ability. Hang on how is that going to help me? We share this space in which we live. People expect different approaches and answers. It’s not just you facing difficulties, everybody does. You are not alone in this. Whatever the situation is which you’re not feeling confident about know that thousands of people have been put in the same situation. Okay maybe not with your friends or neighbour or whoever you’re dealing with but with similar persons. It’s a shared experience and so reasonable people will understand the outcome.

2) Believe in what you do

We’re not talking about religious faith here, no what I mean is a more deeply rooted satisfaction with something within you. Taking pride in some aspect of your life creates bedrock that allows you to develop more confidence facets. Bed this aspect in fact rather than what someone else says. Research it and know it’s there within you and if it has some connection with your work or hobbies then call it a specialist subject in your mind. You don’t have to say this out load and in fact you’ll probably say it’s something you’re interested in but keep it there and enjoy this interest. Take pride in it. If you can develop this pride your confidence levels will rise.

3) Be in your moment

You are about to face a situation which will test your confidence. Turn your mind to the moment and think about how you can make it your own. It’s the same as believing in yourself. Think about what’s to come and run over it. Perhaps it’s making a phone call, run over it in your mind, think of scenarios and play them out and check any past history. It might be facing the mirror or knowing you will have an argument ahead. Then, when in them moment, don’t let anybody in. I say this because you have to have be more worried about what you are thinking and not what someone else is thinking. How are you going order your thoughts if you’re too panicked about what other people think? But what if I’m wrong? You’ll find that it is okay to be wrong. Do you know anybody who is always right? The thing is you need to admit that you’re wrong from time to time and just accept it. There is nothing wrong with being wrong. It happens.

4) There are unreasonable people

Okay so you understand the bigger picture, you believe in what you do and you’re now focused in the moment. But someone disregards you, dismisses you, is mean or hurtful, laughs at you and suddenly the confidence question slaps you in the face. This person might not even be there. It could be someone from your past lurching forward from your memories. The stomach wrenching feeling that paralyses you or the need to run take over and you can’t even think of the question ‘what do I do now?’ let alone ‘where has my confidence gone?’ This is the hard bit. In your mind you can do a number of things. You can pick which best suits you but as with life there are options. Here are some:

1) Say it’s fine and just carry on, ignoring your aggressor. 2) Allow yourself some controlled anger. Be careful not to show it though, hold it deep down and feed off it. How dare they question me? I know what I’m talking about. There is even a little outrage that someone has questioned you. Feed off it and push on. 3) Pause and smile, gather yourself and then continue. What does it matter what they think. 4) Ignore them 5) Lastly and perhaps not the best option is pause and ask them is there a problem. You’ll likely have some kind of conflict here and rather than pushing past their rudeness you are confronting it. Most mockers will back down.

5) We have rights

Please don’t forget we have rights. You have as much right to be heard as anybody else. We live in a competitive world and people will try and undermine this to take the upper hand but they can often be doing this out of habit because of how they’ve been treated in the past. In the face of your confidence they will see your rights and most will respect this. In fact people can bask in the reflective glory of human rights and admire those who represent belief in the ability to share and relate to their own difficulties.

You can see from these tips that it is often about preparation and that by creating more belief in what you do, and by researching and practicing, your confidence will correspondingly grow. Bear in mind these are Tips and that it is only experience which will reinforce their practice. Good luck!