Imagine holding a ten pound weight for every resentment you hold, grudge you cling to and strong judgment you cast. How much weight would you be carrying? What stops you from putting this down?

True forgiveness is a form of letting go. Yet so many view forgiveness as a form of giving in, condoning or weakness; as though forgiving someone or oneself will solicit further disrespect or abuse. By not forgiving we are actually harming ourselves more than the original hurt. When we forgive, we release the pain along with the judgment and we are free. The one who has harmed us has to carry that within their consciousness. So why would we choose to carry this too?

Forgiveness doesn’t negate setting healthy boundaries or learning from our experiences. Instead, it teaches us to expand our own inner knowing and trust. Every experience that we’ve had is an opportunity to learn, grow and develop compassion. Without forgiveness, we become hardened and bitter, and eventually we shut down from life.

The energy of forgiveness is soft and gentle; it’s a form of self-love and release. You can choose to be in this state anytime you want.

Here are some insights on how to bring forgiveness into your life:

* Let yourself see an image of each person who has hurt you in your life. Notice if you’re still carrying the pain. If not, feel the freedom of having let that go. If you are still carrying any hurt, ask yourself how this is affecting you in present time?

* For each person that has harmed you in your life, become aware of the judgments you have about them. Are you carrying any resentment? What would it take to let this go?

* Where have you not forgiven yourself? What does this do to you? What would it feel like to set yourself free?

* Tune into the pure energy of forgiveness by closing your eyes and finding stillness in the center of your head. Let your mind and body relax. Imagine a 3 or 4 foot column of energy a few feet in front of you that is vibrating at a state of forgiveness. Imagine stepping into this pure forgiveness energy. Notice what it feels like. Let your whole body match this state of being.

* Once you are able to be in a state of forgiveness, imagine someone you have a resentment towards standing in front of you. Focus on this feeling of forgiveness as you look at them. Allow yourself to release any pain as you free yourself from this person.

* The next time you are triggered or hurt by someone, ask yourself how you want to feel; do you want to be angry and resentful or would you rather be happy and free? If you are ready to feel better then choose the state of forgiveness, which is really a form of letting go, and from this place set whatever boundaries you need to with the other person.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Author's Bio: 

Gini Grey is a Transformational Coach and author of the book "From Chaos to Calm: How to Shift Unhealthy Stress Patterns and Create Your Ideal Balance in Life". For information and articles, visit