Funerals - Highly Social Events

From being mournful occasions funerals have evolved into highly social events.

When I grew up in the sixties and seventies anything associated with death was dreaded and dreadful. Today, a person no longer dies; he passes on and families no longer mourn the death of loved ones. Instead, they celebrate the life of the one who has passed on. Funerals are no longer mournful and solemn occasions and people attending the ceremonies are now encouraged to be joyful. How things have changed!

In the past, mostly adults attended funerals. It definitely was not an occasion for children except if they were immediate family members of the deceased. Present day funerals are no longer viewed as somber or frightening. They have in fact, become social events where, in addition to paying their last respects, people encounter long lost friends, acquaintances and school mates and even form new friends.

The highlight of modern day funerals in my country is what is known as the ‘Happy Hour’. This is the entertainment which takes place after the funeral. Believe it or not this has become a most anticipated occasion and an incentive for people to attend funerals. This is the time when it appears that the life of the deceased is really being celebrated for there is food and drink in abundance – free food and drink! - And feasting goes on way beyond the ‘hour’.

I attended a funeral today; it was the typical modern day funeral. The small church was packed to capacity and overflowed into the yard which was crowded with late comers, persons who preferred to remain out in the open and those who simply intended to use the occasion to socialize. Old friends who had not met in a long time were busy reminiscing; co-workers, peer groups and others were clustered about the yard chatting, joking and laughing, unmindful of the proceedings taking place inside the church.

When the hearse backed up to the entrance which was an indication that the service had come to an end and it was time to move on to the burial ground, one gentleman standing close to me remarked, puzzled, that some parts of the service must have been left out. The reason for his confusion was that he still had his offering in his pocket as no one had passed with the collection plate. Also, he thought that communion had been skipped because he had not seen anybody go forward to receive. I pointed out that the service must have taken place in its entirety inside the church. The question which followed was quite sensible. He asked why no one had come outside with the collection plate. It would have made a lot of sense since the gathering outside was probably even bigger than the congregation inside. They had passed up a great opportunity to pull in a sizeable collection!

After the church service the crowd walked in procession to the burial ground which was not very far from the church. There again the gathering split up into those who wanted to enter the cemetery and those who were happier to remain outside the walls. Expectedly, the crowd outside was bigger than the one inside and the conversations taking place had absolutely nothing to do with solemnity and death. In fact, there was no solemnity outside; the atmosphere was relaxed and entertaining. All the weeping and wailing were taking place within the walls of the cemetery. Nonetheless, even in there some not very somber people were moving around with their mobile devices taking pictures of the various facets of the burial and these would no doubt be posted on social media even before the funeral had ended.

I did not attend the Happy Hour, but judging on the crowd, I imagine it was very well patronized. I will admit that I had a good time. I was one of those who chose to remain outside and I met quite a number of friends whom I had not seen in a long time. It was good! Yes times have certainly changed and funerals have indeed evolved into interesting, well attended social events.