From Fear to Serenity and Peace

From Fear to Serenity and Peace
by Maryann Miller

"Serenity and peace are not identical. Peace must ever be temporary and refers to the world of feeling and to conditions susceptible of disturbance. It is essential to progress, and an inevitable happening, that every step forward is marked by disturbances, by points of crisis and chaos, replaced later (when successfully handled) by periods of peace.... Serenity signifies that deep calm, devoid of emotional disturbance, which distinguishes the disciple who is focused in a "mind held steady in the light." The surface of his life may be (from the worldly angle) in a state of violent flux. All that he cherishes and holds dear in the three worlds may be crashing around him. But in spite of all, he stands firm, poised in soul consciousness and the depths of his life remain undisturbed." ~ Master Djwahl Khul

Fear, on the other hand, is the absence of serenity and peace. It is the expectation of something negative, either immediate or in the future. Although fear can be a valuable and appropriate response to imminent danger, kicking in your fight or flight response, it can also be an illogical response to certain stimuli. Fear of insufficient money to make ends meet, fear because you can’t figure out how to work your computer or electronic equipment, fear of losing your job, fear of public speaking, these and many other fears can cause extreme stress in your life and can kick in a fear response that can escalate to a full blown panic attack.

Your subconscious mind is silent, unseen, and unheard yet it is the master of your life and destiny. It can keep you in bondage or open wide the doors to freedom.

The last two decades have produced an enormous amount of research on the brain and brain technologies. Much of this new information dramatically changes how we view the brain, revealing mental and emotional capacities that, once we discover how to use them, can be lifelong assets with which to create positive qualities and dimensions in our lives.

Your brain interprets your thoughts and feelings based upon, not only current thoughts and feelings, but long held emotions and beliefs. Your brain is also influenced by external and internal stimuli such as the thoughts and beliefs you hold in your conscious mind, and how your current thoughts align with your subconscious beliefs. Your thoughts and emotions become wired in the brain and this circuitry elicits intellectual and emotional responses, from your subconscious, according to the beliefs you’ve programed into your subconscious.

Your beliefs empower and rule the way you view and live life. Each of your emotions and reactions are the result of your beliefs. How you perceive and experience reality and your reactions to experiences, are the result of your beliefs. Your beliefs elicit a counter response to your words and actions thus grounding your currently held beliefs, or your response can help to establish new beliefs and reactions.

HOW DO YOU PERCEIVE THE PERSON OR CURRENT SITUATION?

Are you in tune with what a person or situation wants you to know? Does your lower, ego-mind say things like, “I already know this person is greedy, unfair, or is going to verbally attack me,” or “This situation is not going to turn out good and I feel like just opting out.” These, and other repetitive reactions, can keep you trapped in the same or similar disabling thought patterns. As is often said, in neuroscience since the late 1990’s, “… neurons that fire together, wire together”. When a pair of neurons fire at the same time, they build an association or connection between them. When you choose to wire together certain feelings or responses to particular stimuli, patterns are formed in your subconscious mind that are triggered whenever the same or similar events take place.

SELF-EXAMINE YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

When life presents you with the same challenging situations or choices, do you wonder why you seem to repeat them over and over again, without different outcomes? Your conscious mind wants something different, yet you continue to repeat the same cycles again and again. Sometimes, in an attempt to avoid these painful or challenging situations, you go into your default modes of behavior:
• Overeating
• Aggression
• Temper outbursts
• Drugs
• Outrage
• Alcohol
• Shouting
• Fight or flight
• The freeze mode
• Passive withdrawal into silence

At times like these, it’s important to discern what’s really causing you to feel the way you do. What thoughts run through your mind when you feel put on the spot, angry, ignored, rejected, put down, etc.? Dr. Athena Staik says, it’s important to remember that “habitual thinking patterns that cause intense feelings of fear, anger, shame, or guilt are not only toxic, but also addictive in nature.” In other words, you are hooked on your reactions because they cause the release of hormonal secretions that make you feel better so you continue to use these reactions to cope with threatening situations.

Any thought that shuts down your reasoning mind is coming from your limited ego-mind, not from your Inner Voice of Wisdom, Love, and Power.

When conflict arises, life is expressing itself. Listen to your Inner-Voice and truly examine the situation. What’s happening in the present moment? Is there a deeper truth that is signaling for your full awareness? At times like this, it’s important to be conscious of the moment and understand that the situation or experience is there to support your internal growth; it’s there to help you remove old beliefs and patterns that hinder and no longer serve you.

It’s important to examine the experience a little deeper to perhaps find a solution that is in the best interest for you and the other person/people, or a way for you to develop a more appropriate response? Observe how you have contributed to the situation and determine if you can either rectify it or learn from it. Do you fully understand the other person/people? Are you acting from your ego-mind or your Inner Voice of Wisdom, Love and Power?

Everyone has some type of fear. Rejection of some type is the most common. When you reject others’ ideas, beliefs, feelings, or worth, they will naturally feel wounded and become defensive. Once they are in a wounded frame of mind, they move into their defense mode and their listening shuts off. Think about it, they have the same need to feel worthy, in control, smart, successful, and good enough as we.

SELF DISCOVERY

Roberto Assagioli says, “Thought is an energy, and unseen but real power…thought lies at the back of everything we do: building our attitudes, our relationships, and our whole way of life. In the world of the mind are born the practical beginnings of everything that eventuates on earth.” It’s important to discover what thoughts and beliefs you hold in your subconscious. What emotions and beliefs do you associate with particular people, events, memories, and situations and experiences? How do you react to these feelings, thoughts and beliefs?

FEAR

Athena Staik, Ph.D. says, “If you resist your own efforts to change a habit, it speaks to the quality of rapport between your mind and body. Simply put, they’re not in sync. What can disturb this special relationship, essentially, between the conscious logic part of your mind and the subconscious felt-emotion part? In a word, fear.”

Fear equals stress, conflict, anger, resentment, guilt, jealously, shame, violence, etc. If you have any of the following feelings, you are living in fear.
• self-doubts
• feeling rejected
• feelings of inadequacy
• a need to be right
• a need to be in control
• wanting to get back at someone
• wanting to avoid someone
• feelings of judgment over how some people live their lives, their relationship, or their financial status
• a need to avoid having a conversation with someone because of anger or resentful feelings
• a need to get your point across
• a need to release pent up frustration or anger about something that has happened in your life

DON’T LET FEAR BE THE MASTER OF YOUR LIFE!

Fear is toxic. Whenever energy gets stuck, it restricts the natural flow and becomes toxic. This stuck energy reduces the flow of oxygen in the body and triggers physiological changes that engage your survival mechanisms. This in turn creates hormonal and blood sugar deviations that directly affect your adrenal glands and immune system.

Fear destroys. It zaps your energy, paralyzes, steals confidence, overwhelms reason, and is addictive. When you react in a fearful way, your fight or flight mechanism kicks into gear, your energy is short circuited, and stress is the result.

Fear overwhelms reason and steals confidence. Fear overwhelms reason because it trains the subconscious mind to respond through habit rather than your brain’s intellect, thus the fight or flight response is stimulated at inappropriate times and in unsuitable ways.

Fear is addictive. Dr. Anthena Staik says, “At the root of all addiction is a fear of intimacy, in particular, an intimate knowing of self.” Fear is addictive because it causes a hormonal secretion that continually stimulates the pleasure area of the brain. Dr. Staik goes on to say, “Though toxic thoughts paint images of self and others with colors of lack, gloom or failure, subconsciously they are protective strategies that get activated automatically in our defense when something triggers us. Thus, our body associates them with pseudo “feel good” feelings that lower our anxiety, albeit in ineffective, quick-fix ways.”

FEAR AS THE GREAT TEACHER

Fear can immobilize you but it is also a great teacher. When you encounter stressful situations, you can learn a lot from them, if you pay attention. What was said or done to elicit fear or danger? How did you perceive the situation; was there a different way to see it or respond? Did you truly listen to what the other person was saying or doing or was it old belief patterns that caused fear to rear its head?

HEARING IS DIFFERENT THAN LISTENING

Hearing is different than listening. Listening is being present long enough to observe the situation differently, actually listen to what the other person is saying or sense what s/he might be feeling, hearing a shift in attitude, or sensing a solution arising. Listening allows you to move into modifying or correcting the situation, for you and the other person. Your ego-mind might say, “Gosh, s/he really needs to get a grip.” But, if you come from a little deeper place of compassion, you will genuinely desire to rectify the situation for yourself, the other person, and the issue that separates you.

Wherever you place your attention, the energy will be amplified. If you concentrate on listening to anger, resentment and rage, you will not be able to listen to your Inner Voice. In a stressful situation, the ultimate is to first find your own inner balance. By centering or balancing your own emotional energy, you will be in a place of serenity and can more easily restore peace.
Remember, no one causes your anger, frustration, or stress. When you dwell in serenity, you will not become combative no matter what the other person says. Shifting your thoughts, feelings and beliefs allows alternative solutions to surface and you will be rewiring your brain to shift into higher frequencies of consciousness immediately, which in turn establishes new patterns and reactions for future encounters and events. It’s imperative that you keep your calm knowing the other person might also be experiencing her/his own fears. Listen to your Inner-Voice, even if it is faint.

EGO-MIND CONSCIOUSNESS

When operating from your ego-mind, your reality is formed through the operation of the five physical senses, beliefs held in the subconscious mind, societal conditionings, and humanity’s mass consciousness. The ego-mind restricts your conscious connection with your Inner-Voice, thus you live life in the illusion of separation. Your actions and reactions are based upon personal survival of varying degrees, seeking happiness externally without recognition of the wisdom of your Inner Voice.

There are times we each act from our untrained Ego-mind but each time you recognize the cause and effect of any situation, and grasp the opportunity to operate or deal with it from a higher level of consciousness, you move into higher frequencies of consciousness that allow you to transmute old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that have previously kept you in painful recurring situations and cycles. As you transmute these old energy patterns, you heal your psyche, your emotions, and your physical body. Old challenges seem to no longer stifle your progress, new and exciting opportunities arise, and you begin to live in serenity, thus proving the old saying that Peace begins within.

THOUGHTS ARE POWERFUL

Your thoughts are potent, dynamic energies that form your attitudes, feelings, relationships, and experiences. Thoughts actually create changes in your subconscious and how you act and react to life’s challenges and situations. In The Intention Experiment, Lynne McTaggart reveals the following research. EMG imagining, is “a real-time snapshot of the brain’s instructions to the body….””As skiers mentally rehearsed downhill runs, the electrical impulses heading to their muscles were just the same as those they used to make runs and jumps while actually skiing the run. The brain sent the same instructions to the body, whether the skiers were simply thinking of a particular movement or actually carrying it out. Thought produced the same mental instructions as action.”

Energy follows attention so wherever you place your attention, energy follows.

Thoughts are strengthened through repetition. If you want to change your reality, you must reprogram your beliefs and create new patterns whenever you feel stress rising up within you. You must replace your old thought patterns by creating new ones, and then be consistent with them long enough to implant them into your subconscious as new beliefs. So how do you stop old patterns and cycles or change their outcomes?

OBSERVE THE SITUATION

Observe yourself when you are feeling stressed, upset, angry, insecure, want to express yourself with a combative tone, or are in the middle of an argument; that’s the time to focus inwardly and center yourself. This will give you time to regroup your emotions and halt the conflict before it begins. Recognize that all external conflicts reflect internal struggles that need balancing or healing.
Look at the situation. What does the situation want you to know? Look for deeper truths that are signaling for your full awareness. Be conscious of the moment and understand that the experience is there to support your internal growth.

Ask yourself, “Is this a repeating pattern in my life?” “Is this what I truly want?” Observe what’s going on inside of you to see if you are reacting from subconscious beliefs and patterns. Look deeper into the experience to find a solution that is in the best interest for both parties, and a way for you to grow from the experience. Examine how you have contributed to the situation and see how you can rectify it. Discern if you fully understand the situation or the other person and observe what, if any, fault might lay with you.

MASTER YOUR LIFE – RELEASE FEAR AND REPROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

You can rewire your subconscious mind and become master of your life thereby attaining serenity, happiness, joy, health, and success but you must first determine that you will listen to a different voice.

The subconscious mind is the storeroom of everything you’ve put into it; i.e., your beliefs, feelings, emotions, memories, experiences, situations, and so on. Fears held in your subconscious are programed by repetition, not by logic. Your subconscious is not capable of original thinking and it doesn’t discern between what’s good for you and what isn’t, it’s simply like a computer that initiates the program you request. If you’ve stored programs for certain fears regarding people, situations, or experiences, your subconscious activates your stored program every time you encounter the same or similar people, situations, or experiences.

Dr. Hanson, who offers a great audio learning course, says, “First, research has shown that when you put words to your feeling, when you just label them, that does two things. One, it stimulates activity in what’s called the prefrontal cortex – the very front part of your brain – and second, it lowers activity in the amygdala alarm circuit. The simple act of naming, to yourself, what you’re feeling, as you’re feeling it, helps to dampen [an] overreaction.”

Dr. Hanson also says, another method for re-programing your responses is “based on science’s new understanding of how memory is actually formed. The brain is so fast and it has so many neurons that it can afford to rebuild a memory from scratch each time it brings it up. When something painful is in awareness, If you also bring to mind positive information – especially positive feelings that are really felt and intense – you gradually infuse that negative experience with positive associations when it goes back into storage. And so the next time it comes up, it’ll bring a little bit of that positive tinge with it. It won’t change overnight; you need to stick with it. But over time, you can gradually help yourself from the inside out to shift your interior landscape. “

A technique I’ve personally used, when faced with non-threatening, yet challenging situations with others, is to:

OBSERVE BOTH VOICES

Go within and clearly listen to what your ego-voice and Inner Voice are saying and discern the difference.

EGO VOICE
Listen to what your ego-voice is saying. What thoughts are your ego-mind generating?

• Do you feel fearful or angry because of past experiences with this person or situation?
• Do you feel rejected?
• Do you feel out of control?
• Does the person or situation make you feel inadequate?
• Do you feel like a failure?
• Do you feel you’re not good enough?

INNER VOICE

• If you hear anger, fear, self-doubt, or rage, choose to listen to your Inner Voice of Wisdom, Love, and Power, even if the voice is faint.
• Be fully present. Be willing to really understand the other person’s point of view.
• Inwardly observe your feelings. How does the person or situation make you feel; are you beginning to feel defensive, out of control of the situation, frustrated, angry, or powerless?
• Still your emotions long enough to relax and go into the silence for a moment so you can compose your emotions.
• Listen to your responses; are you thinking about what you want to say next or are you really listening to what is being said?
• Listen for the issue(s) that might trigger conflict.
• Listen for the other person’s feelings – are they feeling fear, lack of self-worth, not being heard, etc.?
Even though my past experiences with this person or situation made me angry or afraid, I know I’m in control of my experience and I can change my reaction and the outcome.
• I can only feel rejected if I believe I’m not worthy.
• Even though I don’t know everything about this subject, situation, etiquette, or problem, I’m capable and can learn from this experience.
• It’s never failure when I try. Never compare yourself with others for there will always be those who are not as knowledgeable as you and those who are more knowledgeable.

DISCOVER, MENTALLY CREATE, REHEARSE, VERBALIZE and ACT AS IF

• Discover the emotions certain people or situations generate. Discover what beliefs you hold about yourself that make you feel defensive or want to lash out? Do you choose your actions or do you react from outdated beliefs stored in your subconscious? Can you calm your emotions, when they do arise, and listen to your Inner Voice?
• Mentally Create and rehearse your emotional reactions and what you want the outcome to be with certain people or situations.
• Rehearse your mental creations, reactions, and your intention to alter the way you react to certain people and situations. The greatest athletes do this all of the time. Rehearsing is different than visualization. In The Intention Experiment, Lynne McTaggart quotes R.J. Rotella, et al as saying, “Visualization implies that you observe yourself in the situation, as if watching a mental video featuring yourself or seeing yourself through another pair of eyes. Although this may be useful in other areas of life, visualizing oneself from an external perspective in a sports event can hamper athletic performance. Mental rehearsal also differs from positive thinking; happy thoughts on their own do not work in competitive sports.”
• Verbalize your mental creations and intentions to help embed them into your subconscious. Resistance to change is a magnet that keeps you trapped. When resistance and pain rear their heads, know that life is communicating with you and it’s important to pay attention.
• Act As If. A very wise person once told me that, if you want to be in control, happy, prosperous, successful, or healthy, you must begin by acting as If. If you haven’t used this technique before, don’t expect to perfect it overnight. I’ve been practicing this skill for most of my life and still find myself slipping back into old habit patterns, when caught off guard.

It’s important to acknowledge your fears and recognize you want to achieve serenity and peace, even though you may not know how to go about it at first. Fully accept yourself just the way you are without undue judgment. Acknowledge you’re striving to change old, outdated beliefs and it may take continued effort to completely transform them into new, more constructive patterns of behavior. When you find yourself repeating an old pattern or belief, don’t blame yourself; instead, recognize you’re reacting and consciously set and implement the intent to modify or change that particular pattern. With repetition and time, you will definitely begin to notice new beliefs and patterns materializing in your life.

Serenity is a state of harmony you create within yourself. Whenever you genuinely recognize and accept that all things are One and that you are the creator of your reality, you instantly and effortlessly generate serenity. When serenity exists within, you are able to face life’s challenges with calmness and objectivity; your emotions and brain (heart and head) are in a state of balance; one does not dominate the other. You meet your challenges, tests and trials with calm resolve, wisdom, and love.

You clearly hear and listen to your Inner-Voice of Wisdom, Love, and Power and you are at peace within yourself. No matter what the circumstances, you do not become triggered by others. You do not feel the need to argue or lash out. You are able to see the other side as non-threatening and are able to listen to the other person with understanding and compassion. You are able to recognize how you may have contributed to a situation and you are able to speak your truth from respect and consideration for both sides.

Peace is a state of harmony that can be created in the world of affairs; it is attained when we are able to achieve balance and harmony with others. Peace can be reached by all, without exception, when we see, feel, and practice our Oneness. As you live your Oneness, new beliefs will be created within your subconscious and your thoughts, feelings, and actions will move to mirror your new beliefs.

Each time you encounter a challenging situation, you either consciously or subconsciously choose peace or conflict. If you choose peace, face the challenge with a philosophic, unemotional, unbiased, impersonal attitude. This in turn will allow you to move into higher frequencies of consciousness and act through the wisdom, love, and power of your Inner Voice, thus helping to create a world of lasting peace.