Get Yourself off Shaky Ground – By Shaking It Up – And Improve Your Marriage Intimacy

When couples are on shaky ground, they often think that it's best to lay low and let the storm pass. They think that because they are having trouble, it would be the worst possible time to make changes. “Why shake things up when we're already on shaky ground?” they ask themselves. The truth is that if you've lost your marriage intimacy and closeness, it's time to take action.

When you're working on changing your marriage, it's normal to be frightened and nervous. Many people accept the idea that the devil they know is better than the devil they don't know. They think that the problems they're having right now are ones they can live with, and worry that changing their relationship might bring up new problems – ones they can't live with.

In many cases – these worriers would be right. Changing your relationship can make some of your problems worse. However, if they do, it will be a wonderful opportunity to understand what your problems really are and to deal with them. Often as we go through our day to day routines, we're in auto pilot mode. There might be problems under the hood that we don't even notice – because we're so busy just getting by.

When you shake your marriage up and try new things, you might just shake a few problems lose. Remember though – you have not created new problems. They were there all along, working in the background – you just didn't notice them. Identifying these problems is a huge step in the right direction. Only when you really begin to understand where your unhappiness stems from will you be able to identity ways to get back on track.

Moving outside of your comfort zone is uncomfortable by definition. The important thing to realize though, is that not everything that is uncomfortable is bad. It simply means that it's different. If you decide to shake things up by using new techniques, you don't know what new experiences this will bring – you only know that what you've tried up till now hasn't worked.

Shaking things up doesn't necessarily mean you must do something drastic. Get your feet wet slowly by simply finding a new way to communicate, or setting apart one night a week where you and your spouse sit down and talk about some of the things you're unhappy with. Initially you might feel awkward doing so. Remember that your partner is likely just as nervous about making these changes as you are. Going through the process together can bring you closer and provide common ground.

When it comes down to it, the reality is that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've had so far. If you really want to improve your marriage intimacy, start by being open to new experiences and new ways of communicating. Some things you try are going to work, others won't. The important thing is that you're moving forward – and shaking things up.