Get What You Want for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is for the infatuated, the brokenhearted, the deeply in love, the old and worn, the young and anxious … and, of course, the coupled and the single. It's for you!
You don't have to worry about how you fit in, or how it plays out for you. It's (SET ITAL) designed (END ITAL) for you (SET ITAL) and (END ITAL) you're in charge of how happy it is or isn't. Come on, you knew I wouldn't leave your happiness up to somebody else.
So, what do you want? Where do you want to celebrate? How do you want to celebrate?
Valentine's Day is for lovers. And you are a lover -- a beautiful, incredible lover, if I may say so. You can have whatever you want for Valentine's Day! In fact, you will have whatever you want. You will choose consciously, or unconsciously, with your beliefs and the actions you take based on those beliefs.
Just for a minute, pretend you have the most magnificent partner, better than you ever hoped or imagined you could get. And you're looking for a gift that will reflect your sweetheart and your love and gratitude for him (or her).
Stay with me, I realize that pretend isn't quite the same as real, but you actually have YOU! You can take the same time to consider what YOU want for Valentine's Day as you would take to consider what a partner would want. (SET ITAL) And (END ITAL) you can give yourself exactly that.
You might be thinking you don't deserve it. You do! You might be thinking it would hardly feel the same coming from you. It just might feel better, though, realizing that you don't have to wait for somebody else to decide you're lovable. Or you might be wondering what your partner (if you have one) would think. It doesn't matter.
When you take the time to know and love who you are, (SET ITAL) nothing (END ITAL) else matters. And when you love yourself well, you will also love others well. You (SET ITAL) can't (END ITAL) love others any better than you love yourself.
So, look at who you are in your present situation and decide what would be most satisfying to you as you celebrate love this Valentine's Day.
Yes, you can go to Jamaica … but if you're short on time or funds for that one, you can drive to the nearest beach or lake. A big diamond would be, well, a big diamond, but inviting single friends over for hot cider might feel more loving.
Love is everything good! It's not limited to infatuation or romance or sex.
But, hey, if that's what you most want (truly want) right now, it's yours. Romance isn't that difficult to conjure up. If you don't have a partner, invite a prospect over, but don't try to run around the proverbial bases all in one night. Start where you are … and you'll be at least one step closer to more. You can practice romance -- and that might be most fitting right now -- with almost anybody.
Put on some feel-good clothes, play your favorite music, sprinkle some rose petals on the table and dip a few strawberries in chocolate. Open a bottle of sparkling something … and voila!
Don't believe me? Try it! Just don't make it difficult. Make it what you can do now. Make it what you are ready for.
You can't skip the steps between here and what you're dreaming of. But you can enjoy every single one of them. As you show love for yourself, you will recognize that you are where you want to be in this moment -- this moment being the only one you can live in.
And whether you are infatuated, brokenhearted, deeply in love, old and worn, young and anxious, coupled, or single, you will enjoy a Happy Valentine's Day!
Jan Denise is a columnist, author of the book "Naked Relationships," speaker and coach based in McIntosh, Fla. Please e-mail her at, or visit her website at To find out more about Jan Denise, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at

Author's Bio: 

Jan Denise is a nationaly syndicated columnist, author of the book "Naked Relationships," speaker and coach based in McIntosh, Fla. Please e-mail her at, or visit her website at