The first step in making it work again with an ex is to remember and understand the reasons behind your break up in the first place. If you decide to make it work again with your ex, the question would then be if you could get past the reason for the initial break up. Once you’ve made up your mind that you want to get back with your ex, you then need to take the necessary steps of understanding, fixing, trusting, forgiving and healing your relationship/marriage.

Understand What Happened
You decide to make it work again with your ex and now you need to understand what went wrong in the first place. You need to sit down and have a conversation with each other of why! Did you cheat on him/her or was it the other way around? You need to understand what went wrong in order to prevent it from reoccurring once you two get back together. If you were the cheater, what made you cheat on your honey? If he/she was the cheating culprit, ask for their reasons for stepping outside of the relationship/marriage. Even if there was no cheating involved, you must still find out the turning point which produced the end result. Once you two gain a full understanding of why you became exes in the first place, you can then move onto fixing your issues.

Fix Your Issues
This consists of righting the wrongs that were the cause of your relationship or marriage’s demise. There are plenty of issues that can be fixed/reversed such as not being nice enough, being boring in the bedroom, communicating more, not showing enough attention to one another, etc. There is a plethora of issues that could have been the cause of the break up and once you two sit down and hash it out, you need to take the necessary steps to find a happy medium for you both. Fully listen and pay attention to each other as you both explain your side of the story and of your gripes and complaints about each other. As you work towards fixing your issues, you can work towards rebuilding trust within your relationship or marriage as well.

Rebuild the Trust
In order to move on after getting back together you need to rebuild the trust. If there was cheating involved on either side of the spectrum, trust can become a major hurdle for your newfound relationship and you both would need to get over the past issue at hand as it can hinder your reconciliation. Once the trust has been broken it takes work, time and patience to restore it. Starting with a clean slate should be the beginning point. If you do not, you will find yourself or your significant other bringing up past infidelities. If you decide to get back together, let go of the past and work towards the future by forgiving and healing.

Forgive and Heal
This is the final step in how to make it work again with an ex. You need to forgive to heal. If infidelity is the reason behind your relationship or marriage ending, you need to apologize so that the hurt party can forgive you and heal. If you are the person who was hurt, you need to forgive the other person for all of the negative things that have occurred, leave those issues in the past and move on. The more you move forward in a positive direction the better your healing process will be.

In the end, if you are serious about making things work with your ex and the feeling is mutual, it will take some hard work and dedication from both parties to make your new found relationship last. The second time around is sometimes the hardest. However, if you begin to understand, fix, trust, forgive and heal, you would definitely be on the right path to happiness again.

Author's Bio: 

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