Going To Bed Angry: Another View

Many people have heard of the advice to never go to bed angry. This relationship advice has such a great value. It addresses the idea of how couples may feel if going to bed angry, such as feeling emotionally disconnected and unattached, or fear of having unresolved issues getting in the way. This advice is absolutely a great and valuable tool for staying connected and securely attached to your partner. Think about it…going to bed angry in the relationship can create a terrible feeling; it can keep people up all night, have terrible sleep, or many other painful experiences. For many couples, this advice is perfect for their relationship. Obviously, I am a therapist and I truly believe in resolving any and all conflicts, but this doesn’t work for everyone. Couples faced with relationship conflict often attempt to resolve the issue to the best that they can. When in conflict, couples try to resolve the issue through continuous fighting, arguing, and then resulting into a more damaged relationship. Damaging a relationship is far more dangerous than going to bed angry. The bigger issue is for those who keep trying to resolve an issue, and it keeps getting worse, escalating, and turning into a big disaster. Going to bed without the issue resolved might actually protect the relationship. Many people don’t see it this way, nor does it feel like that from the person on the receiving end. On the receiving end it might feel as if your partner doesn’t care, as if they give up on the relationship. But as a matter of fact, this might be a wise thing to do. It can protect the relationship from getting out of hand. If you have seen your relationship escalate in times of disagreement, then maybe taking a break, falling asleep, and addressing the issue when you are less emotionally reactive might actually benefit your relationship. Remember, sometimes going to bed angry really isn’t that bad.