Good Communication – Why is it Such a Challenge?

Relationships and business dealings rely on our ability to communicate thoughts and ideas clearly from one person to another; due to this reliance, it is critical to ensure effective communication skills to avoid the cost incurred by misunderstandings - but what happens when we don’t? The damage can range anywhere from minor confusion to costly mistakes, hurt feelings and ruined lives. Possessing the skill set required for effective communication can impact your overall effectiveness in life situations and ultimately determine your success or failure.

The difficult setback we all face is that communication skills are not what we spend our time focusing on in school, job training, or in our day to day interactions. The truth is, most people do not place a high priority on communication skills, and place them at the bottom of their list of skills needed to be successful at the job of their dreams, if it makes the list at all.

The problem with neglecting communication skills is how it reflects in your effectiveness when expressing your thoughts and presenting your ideas. In your daily business interactions you present your ideas both formally through stand-up presentations and informally during general conversation. The job of both formats is to deliver information from you to another.

The presenting of ideas between individuals account for an enormous amount of information transfer. It has been estimated that on a typical business day the exchange of individual pieces of information can reach into the thousands; leaving many people feeling inundated with information by the end of the day. The sheer volume of communication exchange is enough to foster misunderstandings, inaccuracies, and confusion which can develop into problems and costly mistakes in a very short amount of time when good communication skills are not employed.

So how can you avoid these problems and improve your communication skills? Whether it is in the work place or individual relationships, the keys to good communication begins with the circle of conversation, which includes: conveying a clear message, looking for an acknowledgment of your message being received, and eliciting a response from the listener to ensure your message was understood accurately.

That may sound easy enough, so why is good communication such a challenge for most? It starts with conveying your message clearly. The words you speak and the message heard by the listener are influenced by both parties' personal life experiences, level of education, employment history, age, and cultural background. When any of these influences differ a breeding ground is created for misunderstandings at the onset of the conversation. It can appear as if two individuals are speaking different languages. Many times, this type of miscommunication is found in conversations between males and females or when directives are given by a senior executive to a junior level employee.

So how can you combat this difficulty? One easy way is to ask follow-up, open-ended questions. Through your questions you will discover whether or not the intended meaning of your words were received and understood. Using questions that begin with the words “how”, “why”, or “what” will encourage a dialog and enable you to evaluate their responses to determine if the information received is being understood in the manner you intended.

However, the only true test of the listener’s understanding can be found in the listener’s actions. How many times have you found yourself involved in a conversation thinking all was understood, only to find out while observing the listener’s actions that something was clearly misunderstood? This situation can be eliminated by asking a probing, action-oriented, open-ended question to elicit the intended action the listener will take in regards to your conversation.

Once the circle of conversation is successfully completed, the value is found by making on the spot corrections to misunderstandings which could be costly personally or professionally if left unchecked. When you are able to effectively perform the circle of conversation, the art of processing good ideas, using ideas productively, and following through with correct follow-up actions will occur naturally - all of which will provide you with a competitive edge during information exchange in relationships and business dealings.