Ten tips for coping when your new boss is a bully
Written by Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Q. Right after I accepted my new position, the manager whonhired me quit. I now have a boss "Sam" who's a classicnbully. He has most of the office terrorized. Every questionnbecomes a confrontation. Last week, he walked into thenconference room as I was meeting with a customer and begannberating me about a missing fax. Our Regional VP has askednus to be understanding because Sam has family and healthnproblems. I've only been here two months. Should I beginnlooking for a new job?
A. Possibly. But first take charge of your currentnsituation.nnnn(1) Document your boss's behavior, with action time andndate. Skip personal comments ("he's a jerk"). Instead,
"Sam entered Conference Room A at 11:04 AM while I wasnmeeting with Mary Jones, VP of Eastern Widgets. Mary leftnfive minutes later, so I could not complete my presentationnto this Major Account, risking sales of $400K." Write what
Sam said and describe his gestures objectively. "Henpointed a finger at me," not, "He waved his arms wildly."
Keep your notes at home.nnnn(2) Document your efforts to establish a good relationshipnwith your new boss. Be ready to demonstrate that you'renbuilding bridges.nnnn(3) Stay tuned to the office grapevine but avoid gettingnbogged down in long gripe sessions. Use the time to enhancenyour skills and test the job market.nnnn(4) Take care of your own needs. Coaches can help youndevelop creative coping strategies and provide anconfidential sounding board. If you're seriously depressednor anxious, find the appropriate professional resource.nnnn(5) Begin exploring the job market, even if you justnarrives. Many employers will understand if you explain,
"The manager who fought to get me hired has left the companynand my new boss wants to put own team together." Be briefnand professional.nnnn(6) Call the manager who hired you. She may not be willingnto serve as a reference, but she may back up your story of anchange in management.nnnn(7) Listen for hidden agendas. Some managers arenuntouchable, no matter how outrageously they behave, becausenof some past history with the company. Maybe they brought inna big account during an economic downturn. Maybe they savednthe president's career a long time ago. You may never learnnthe reason.nnnn(8) Assess your corporate culture before making a formalncomplaint. Once you've reached management level, you have tontread carefully when appealing to HR, senior managers ornlegal action. You're expected to be able to handle all kindsnof tough situations. Some companies even evaluate managersnon how they deal with a bad boss.nnnn(9) Prepare a "last resort" strategy. If your boss hasncrossed the line from bad to bully, you can't find a newnjob, and your stress level soars, take your documentation tonthe appropriate place. In some companies you would startnwith your boss's boss, then human resources; in other's it'snthe other way around. Make your case professionally,ncouched in of the company's needs. "I've lost two sales repsnwho named Sam in their exit interview. I've had to spend annextra nineteen thousand dollars to hire replacements andnthey're still on their learning curve."nnnn(10) Reclaim your own power. Seize the opportunity to usenyour company's resources as a vehicle to reach your ownnlong-term career goals. Recognize that your stay here willnbe limited and begin to invest time, energy and sometimesnmoney in your own healthy long-term future.
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