Utilizing Gratitude as a Self-Confidence builder.

There is not doubt that our attitude has an effect on our outcomes. Continually being negative, seeing the bad side of things will limit our outcomes if not eliminate the good in ones life. At the same time being positive about everything does not guarantee we will succeed in our endeavors either, but does seem to increase the odds.

There have been times in my life, just like yours where it was tough to be positive or keep focused on what needed to happen. Just being positive never seemed to be enough to really make the difference; to boost the confidence and take the actions needed.

So how does one pull though the tough spots all of us experience in this journey called life? Here is one tool I’ve used over the years…

I believe the power of gratitude is understated and under used by many of us. Like anything in this world a solid foundation is required for long term resilience. Buildings need strong yet resilient foundations to withstand earthquakes. People need a strong foundation to place their beliefs and values which supports their self-confidence and allow resilience to life’s occurrences.

My personal experiences go back 40 years when things were not going right. My thinking was that of a fatalist, in other words, I had no control and what will be in my life will be dictated by others in power. Not the most positive thinking in the world.

Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped that was not true. Often times I found myself thinking about what I had compared to others and felt this gratitude. With this as a base my thinking and beliefs began to swing and once the pendulum swings it’s hard to stop. Thus today the belief is “We are 99% in control of our lives and in all that we have or do not have!”

“We are 99% in control of our lives and in all that we have or do not have!”

Reactions the last statement are assured to be all over the place, but that is my belief. If you want to create a similar attitude and belief, these tips on gratitude will help.

I recently had an interview with Soul Dancer (yes that is his name) about gratitude, it’s misuse and it’s power. Here is a link to the 90 minute recording and his 3 quests including myself. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/paymewhatiamworth/2010/11/22/hazards-of-man... Following are key points.

1. Gratitude creates a different mind-set. Multi-tasking is bunk, the mind can only focus on one thing at a time, thus if you focus on gratitude you can not be focused on other negatives. The suggestion of many experts is to create a gratitude list. Write down all the things you are grateful for. From the most minute to the greatest achievements or skills. By doing so one cements these into your thinking and provides a base for different beliefs.

2. Gratitude builds self-confidence: A salesman is struggling and money is tight, so this next sale could mean groceries or not this week. As a single parent on straight commission and no base, I found myself in this situation more than once. If you have ever been with a desperate salesperson, you know one can smell the desperation just like an animal can smell fear! Not a good position for getting a sale! Think gratitude for the opportunity to serve versus the opportunity of a sale. Is it different? How?

By thinking about all that I had, kids, home, friends, skills, training, freedom, choice etc, my mind set was a confident one. Yes I needed to create some cash flow today, but it didn’t show because gratitude replaced the fear and put me back in confident control. Today in preparing for an important sales call, reviewing gratitude is always a part of the preparation.

3. Gratitude defeats fear: Fear is one of the most devastating emotions there is. It paralyzes most, causes poor choice almost always and can be seen and felt by others. Most fear comes from a fear of loss or fear of pain which we want to avoid. When one approaches a situation full of gratitude, fear has no place. Gratitude for what I have and have had is one tough cookie for fear to overcome, because gratitude does not own anything! Thus there is no fear of loss or pain.

4. Gratitude is freedom: When we have true gratitude it is not about owning, possessing or controlling. It is about the experience we had and are having. How does one take away an experience? Thus there is nothing to lose, nothing to protect, nothing to covet. When we are tied to our possessions as our self-worth we are very vulnerable to fear of loss. If I loose this sale/house/career/spouse etc I will have no value! With a trap to be in, there are very few choices available in this trap; I know I’ve been there! Compare that to gratitude for the experience and consider all choices that gives you.

5. People feel the attitude of gratitude: Everyone of us has meet someone with a mind-set of gratitude. They may be rare, but when we met them we know. They seem to be confident, in control, non assuming, great listeners and provide great insight. Why, because they are not blocked by the fear of loss that does control so many of us. Personally I’ve found gratitude reducing my anger to the point of non-existence in some cases.

6. Gratitude prevents neediness: Watch the news and most would agree that fear is part of most broadcasts. If others can produce fear in us for what ever reason, we then need protection or a solution and thus are needy! Flip this and put gratitude in fears place and the neediness dissipates. This does not mean we go without more income, bigger house or such; quite the opposite, we now seek to enhance our gratitude and build for ourselves and others, but not out of fear.

There are 6 quick points on how and why gratitude is stronger than fear and can help you create a better more full filling life. The choice is up to you!

Here is the link to the gratitude interview: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/paymewhatiamworth/2010/11/22/hazards-of-man...

To your Success, It’s your choice!
HG :)

Author's Bio: 

As an author of 3 books on Sales, business, body language and influence, Harlan brings you a proven way to accomplish your outcomes. After 20 years with Dale Carnegie, working with hundreds of companies and individuals, Harlan developed advanced ideas and methods to gain even more growth, performance and outcomes for others.

His web site is www.AskHG.com and the books are The Selling Gap; Bypassing No in Business; The Business Expert Guide to Business Success.