Temper, Temper!

While I believe that there are not “good” or “bad” feelings, as I just mentioned, I do feel that some are more positive and helpful than others. Anger doesn’t solve anything. Getting angry only makes you, and the people around you, feel worse. And, over time, it can also have a negative impact on your health. Anger is a natural reaction to stressful situations. Our ancestors needed that anger and release of cortisol and epinephrine to fight or flee from the lion that was about to eat them. But, as we know, in our current environments, most threats to our wellbeing consist of emotional and psychological stressors and it is rarely necessary to run these days. Because of this, we don’t use up all the stress hormones that our bodies produce. This build-up of stress hormones can lead to damage of the heart muscles and can weaken blood vessels, which in turn can lead to high blood pressure, heart attacks and stroke. Suppressed anger can also cause depression and other illness.

Expressed anger is okay, if done constructively, but unbridled anger has been found to lead to increased anger and aggression. Neither of these approaches does anything to address the underlying causes of why you are getting angry, so there is no way to learn how to cope with those triggers. Therefore, it makes sense to learn to identify and properly deal with situations that make us angry, rather than just reacting. Taking time regularly for self-care has also been shown to reduce one’s likelihood of getting angry.

It’s unreasonable to say, “Just stop getting angry,” and if I told you to do that, you would probably just get really pissed off at me. While you often won’t have control over the people, things or situations that can anger you, you can learn to become aware of, and control, your reaction to them. There are programs designed to help you identify and appropriately deal with anger, as well as general stress management techniques. It will take time to reprogram your reactions. So start now, and as one of the basic tenets of Reiki goes, “Just for today, try not to get angry.”