Have Best Friend, Will Smile

“A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget…” It was a totally nondescript day. The kind that you wanted to be over as soon as possible because nothing was happening. It was dull, unremarkable, humdrum. I remember sitting sidesaddle late that afternoon on the cement fence that divided my street and the row of public housing where a boy I fancied lived. Adolescent attraction is at once funny and pathetic. Too self-conscious to even say hello, I always stayed at a distance, hoping against hope that my squinting would look dreamy from where he was.

Of course, it never did, but that didn’t stop me from trying. As I contemplated on whether to stay longer on my perch, a girl my age, whom I saw walking from one end of the street just before then, stopped under the wire where my one of my feet gingerly rested to steady my position. She looked up at me, broke into a perfect smile before asking “What are you doing?” I remember pondering on whether to answer her or not and, more importantly, how. Should I be flippant and say, “It’s none of your business”? Or should I be genteel and reply, “Just enjoying the afternoon, thank you”? But in my awkwardness borne out of my pre-pubescent stage, I did neither.

Instead, I flashed a short-lived smile—a smirk, if you would--and turned my back to her to look over and across the cement fence, silently praying she would just go away as quickly as she came. She didn’t; she lingered. And looking back, I’m sure glad she did, for she has been my best friend ever since. Twenty-five years—that’s more than half my life!--and counting. Friendships are life’s free pleasures, and it’s pretty much a smorgasboard for all. But not everyone is lucky enough to find a true-blue best friend: one who would put up with your after-midnight dramatics and your too-early-in-the-morning crabbiness; tell you your breath is funky when it matters the most; hold your hand tightly to stifle the sting of the needle you’re deathly scared of; suffer through your soliloquy with half-closed eyes but with ears wide open; and cup your face and tell you you’re superduper super after every rejection (real or imagined) you get.

Genuine friendships ferment like sweet wine over time, and you’ll enjoy its effervescence long after the first hello. Sure, there will be moments when you’d feel like scratching each other’s eyes out, but these moments will pass and be quickly forgotten. (Forgiveness is inexhaustible between friends.) On the other hand, wonderful memories will hang around like a cat at the foot of your bed on a cold, Monday morning: warm, fuzzy, and delightfully stubborn! These same memories will sustain you in your bleakest hours, nourish your soul, and sugar your dreams. If you think you have been blessed with a real friend, then thank your lucky stars! Better yet, reciprocate.

A friendship that works both ways is twice as fulfilling and enjoyable. Nurture and support each other. Compromise when necessary, criticize gently, praise loudly, and love unconditionally. A best friend is priceless but if you already have one, you don’t need me to tell you that. Cheers to friendships!