There are no good reasons or excuses to cheat on someone who you love and care deeply for, but I am sure people that have cheated have reasons why they cheated that makes sense to them. There are people who love their partner, but still cheat. I feel that society (media) also plays a part in why people are cheating. It’s so easy to cheat these days a click of a mouse pad and there are thousands of sites that cater to men and women who have partners...that can hook up with other people. They also have sites that give you tips on how to get away with it. Don't want to take the responsibility away from the person who cheated. Just stating that there is a lot more temptation. I guess in the end it doesn't matter where or how your partner knows or found the person that they cheated on you with. It’s still a betrayal and it hurts. Either way its easy to blame media, your sex addiction, a bad marriage, or whatever reasons a person can give...bottom line it’s a choice to cheat or not to.
I have personally experienced a relationship where my partner cheated on me, although he didn't want to admit to why and how it was done. Although looking back I am not so sure I could have handled to hear certain details. I would have killed him...No I don't have it in me to kill anyone but I would have wounded him so bad that it would take him entire lifetime to recover from. I can be emotionally abusive when I am hurt by someone I love. I did love him with everything I had. We were very close...he was my best friend, and the sex was incredible. So when I found out he was cheating on me I was very confused and upset beyond words can really express. There were periods in our
relationship where I’ve seen inappropriate behaviour...I once when on the computer and checked the history and saw that he registered on an
online dating site. Not only was he a member but he was using our vacation picture...the two of us were in it. He had this for his profile picture, but he photoshopped me out of the picture. I was hurt and devastated. I came to him with this information...he remained calm and said he was not really looking for anything or anyone on there. His cousin told him about the site and he was just curious. Of course I was not buying that weak excuse. I did choose to forgive him and try to move on from this. I did not want to give up on our relationship.
Call me stupid, naive or whatever, but through the course of our relationship there was so much evidence of him being unfaithful. I would cry and yell. He would try and soothe my fears with sweet words and kisses, and promises that it was nothing. Like the time I saw the text message from a girl, or the time I broke into his voice mail and heard a woman asking him why he didn't show up for their date. All of these times I chose to forgive him, why because I knew that he loved me, and at the time that was good enough for me to hold on to our love. Looking back I now know that there was no trust in our relationship...I didn't trust him that's why I looked through his phone records, yes some people may say that I didn't give him his privacy...but he did not respect me. So you could argue it balanced things out. I am no longer with him. I ended our relationship because I could no longer take the lies and the women on the side. It was not that we did not try to save our relationship...he did agree to attend couples counselling with me and things went well for a bit, until once again this one woman who was always around our entire relationship called our house phone and was rude with me. I told her she could have him. Right there... I was done. So fed up with the bullshit! We broke up for good about three months after that incident.
I do not regret that relationship, because it taught me a lot about myself. Of course we had truly great times together that I will never forget. Memories that will stay with me. As far as the cheating I'm not clear about why he did it because until this day he claims that he never had sex with any of these women...I do not believe him. I do not care to know why he did it anymore. I have moved on and past the hurt that was caused in that relationship. Being single for over a year and a half has given me time to reflect and grow as a person. It has been lonely and it has been challenging being single, but most of all it has been a positive experience, knowing that I do not need a relationship to complete me.
I will never tell any of my readers to leave their partner who has cheated. It is a very personal decision that has to be made when you are ready. Some may choose to try and work the problem out. So whatever you choose to do I hope that you do it from a good place and are happy. If you have been cheated on as many people have...I hope that you have moved on and are at a good place emotionally...because I know it can be take some time to get over the betrayal.
I can tell you with time it does get better.