Relationship from dating expert Kara OhMen tell me all the time that they want to make their wife or girlfriend happy, but they need them to tell them how. I can also tell they’re heartsick and quite frustrated that you not only don’t tell them how, you make them guess. And heaven help them if they guess wrong.

I have actually heard women say, “If he loves me he ought to know.” This seems terribly unfair. She takes this most precious gift that a man wants to offer her–a desire to make her happy–then dishonors it by making him bad and wrong for not having the gift of psychic reading. I believe this is a big reason men leave.

Men have a deep need and a reverence for women that they’re mostly unaware of. The biological need to procreate of course is very strong. The willingness to risk his own life for the safety of wife, children and home is obvious throughout history.

There is an ancient reverence for the woman’s ability to create life within her womb. Knowing the child growing within her comes from his seed adds to the profound impact a woman has on a man. At times it’s almost overwhelming.

There’s a spiritual aspect that’s frequently ignored. Because women can create life within them, in pre-Christian time women were most connected to the source of life. She was men’s tangible connection to God. In most cultures men need to be strong and powerful, whereas women have not. Consequently, women have been allowed and actually encouraged to stay in touch with their feelings, to express and share them. The one place where most men are willing to let their emotions be expressed is with their romantic partner.

Being physical, sexual,and  verbal in expressing love, appreciation, happiness, discontent, sorrows–these for men are the outlets for emotion and their relationship is where they feel most comfortable expressing themselves. In this regard, she’s invaluable to him.

If a woman wants a happy man there are several things she must do. Otherwise, he will eventually burn out and leave, exhausted. A woman who honors this profound need that men have to make her happy, has an entirely different attitude toward men. She sees them as the magnificent people they are capable of being. She wants them to be men and not try to change them into something else. She gives them every opportunity to make her happy because she knows it makes them happy. She doesn’t try to smother them, own them, mold them, or change them. She loves them for being men, not for what they might be. Men are generally happy that women are women.

If a woman wants to show her love the best thing she can do is say what she wants. This gives a man an opportunity to make her happy. It’s not uncommon for women to have difficulty asking for what they want. They’re generally brought up to be nice little girls, to share, to not be selfish. They’re taught to sacrifice or ignore their own needs for the sake of others. But of course they have needs, so they come out indirectly, often as manipulation.

The best way to get what you want is to ask for it clearly. Men won’t think you’re selfish if you do it in a way that honors their desire to make you happy. Don’t ever expect it or demand it. Don’t make them guess and don’t manipulate. Manipulation is disrespectful to men as well as to you.

When you get what you’ve asked for, appreciate him for what he has done–no matter how large or small. He deserves that much. As you begin to appreciate him and give him more opportunities to make you happy, you’ll notice him warming up and wanting to do more. Nothing makes a man happier than a happy, appreciative woman. Learn the art of being this kind of woman in Men Made Easy.

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh, Author of Men Made Easy and other relationship books
Men Made Easy by Kara Oh

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Author's Bio: 

Kara Oh,

relationship coach, best-selling author and public speaker, offers
a full range of products and services to assist women and men with
everything they need to create fulfilling relationships that are filled with
love, playfulness, romance and passion. Whether you are single and looking
for the right partner, involved and frustrated, or married and struggling
with everything from an affair to falling out of love, her unique resources
offer everything that you need to enjoy the kind of relationship you

Men Made Easy - How to Capture His Heart Forever. What if
you learned how to go from "totally confused" about men to knowing
how to melt his heart and be cherished by a man who adores you forever?
Learn how here.