Healing from Infidelity

Healing from infidelity might seem like an intimidating undertaking or even impossible. However, with professional support from a Relationship Specialist, nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, the road to recovery is both demanding and long. And yes, setbacks are to be expected along the way. Nevertheless, healing from infidelity is not just possible, many believe that it is often likely. Often couples who complete the healing journey even find that their relationship is stronger, more intimate, and more satisfying than before the affair.

It is true that some couples have a more a difficult time than others and that some people would rather walk away from the relationship than go through the work of healing. Ultimately, healing from infidelity means working toward forgiveness. Forgiveness it turns out is the key to reforming a relationship after an affair is uncovered or disclosed.

After first discovering that your partner has betrayed you, the idea of being able to forgive might seem a far flung notion. Although it might not ease the pain, perhaps it will help to know that many couples have faced infidelity and survived. Nailing down the exact statistics on who cheats can be tricky, but many believe that about 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their spouses. It is just as important to remember that fewer than 10% of unfaithful spouses actually marry their affair partners. That's right, 90% of affairs do not end in the formation of a new relationship.

Working with a seasoned Relationship Specialist is often a key to healing from infidelity. A counselor can often help you face your issues head on, rather than shrinking from or dodging around painful or complicated issues. Your counselor can work with you to help you improve trust, intimacy, and communications.

Finding a well trained therapist is very important given that healing from infidelity is one of the most difficult problems to address in therapy. Infidelity comes with its own form of trauma, a kind of post traumatic affair disorder. You might be surprised to know that not every therapist has been trained to work with couples even though their degree or license might imply that they are qualified. Consumer Reports Magazine also gave poor marks to couples counselors. Use caution when choosing a marriage or relationship counselor.

Many up-and-coming therapists enroll in prep courses to help them pass school and board exams. These training courses help the therapist-to-be choose the "correct" answers to couples counseling questions on their exams. But giving the correct academic answer on a test does not a therapist make, and that is especially true when it comes to working with couples or families. Ask questions. Did the therapist even work with couples during their academic training? Did the therapist receive couples counseling training under guided supervision and with peer review? Did the therapist take courses aimed exclusively at working with couples? Does the therapist see only couples, and therefore is working as a Relationship Specialist; or, does the therapist see couples, individuals, families, and groups; and therefore works as a general practitioner?

Articles and professional journals point out that not all therapists are cut out for the rigors of couples counseling. A client is well advised to seek out a Relationship Specialist. A Relationship Specialist has been trained (while being supervised) to work with couples and has completed academic coursework exclusive to working with couples.

Chances are that you invested a lot of time, energy, and love in your relationship before you discovered that your spouse was being unfaithful. Often it makes sense to defend that investment by learning about healing from infidelity, rather than just chucking it all because you have been hurt. Healing from infidelity involves working on all levels, in your mind, in your heart, and in your behaviors.

If you're having trouble healing by yourself, please seek out a Relationship Specialist before you make any decisions that will change your life and your family’s life forever.

For more information, please visit http://www.marriage-and-relationship-counseling.com/marriage-counseling-...

And for information about how to choose a qualified Relationship Specialist, please visit http://www.marriage-and-relationship-counseling.com/marriage-counselors....