When your girlfriend wants to break up, you can feel the tension in the relationship. This won’t strike you if you’re willing to let her go in a snap. Conflict comes in only if it goes against your heart’s desires. However, conflict is part of every couple’s fate. It can be either good or bad. It may be bad because it causes misunderstandings between the couple. It may be good because it’s an indicator that the involved people are aware of their differences; thus, being themselves.

The good news is any conflict, regardless of its degree, can be resolved through a healthy confrontation. Many people tend to avoid it, hoping time will just wash it away. One of the probable explanations for this evasion is the lack of capacity to say the appropriate words at the appropriate time. So below are compassionate lines that will guide you in approaching this problem correctly.

”It seems like we’ve gone through a lot of things the past few weeks. Why don’t we talk about it over coffee?”

When you ask her to open things up with you, be courteous. Don’t forget it’s not only you who’s sad in the scenario. If you’re puzzled, so is she. She is conscious that her choice will cause dejection to the man who considers her special, and that usually leads to shame and uneasiness. With this in mind, you’ll understand that you’re not the only aggrieved party. If you deserve an explanation, she badly wants understanding. So to begin the conversation, be gracious as how a grown-up man should be.

"I recognize the issues we are currently undergoing but I believe we can still resolve these if we work together."

Optimism is your greatest ally in times of hardships because it’s your main source of strength to solve them all. When your girlfriend wants to break up with you, she is starting to give up on your relationship. If you let yourself be carried away by her negativity, you’re burning all the bridges. To save your relationship, avoid the scapegoat attitude. Instead, soar from the tests of time, let past be part of history and make sound decisions for your main problems.

I’d be happy to save this relationship but I’d respect you whatever your decision will be.”

The process of conflict resolution never ends without a decision. Unfortunately in this scenario, the final say is in your girlfriend’s hands. You can only ask her to stay but her leaving is totally out of your control. It would be wise to prepare for any possibilities. Otherwise, you might end up deceiving your own self with your false wishes. Of course, the pain of rejection is another intrapersonal conflict that will hit you but in time, you’ll be able to deal with it rightly.

It’s not only you who’s going through this rough stage. Those who can manage it empathically and sensibly will most likely become a wiser man, if he can’t save the ship from shrinking. Those who can’t end up feeling wretched and discouraged. A healthy confrontation isn’t as difficult as it seems so. When you girlfriend wants to break up, just remember that love should be constructive for everyone and everything involved.

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