Holding On & Letting Go

Our children grow up in the blink of an eye. Practice conscious parenting and you won’t miss a moment! I just returned from my younger son’s fourth grade “Moving Up Day” celebration. It was very low key, but lovely.rnThe gym was full of parents, applauding the children as they prepared to board buses for their first visit to our town’s Intermediate School, where they will all be attending fifth grade in the fall. Before leaving, a slide show was presented on a big screen, flashing pictures of our children from kindergarten onward.rnI would like to report that I was not the only parent discreetly wiping away tears. rnMy children are growing up and I don’t like it. rnSure, it’s easier to have a conversation with them now. It’s great, not having to lug around car seats and strollers, everywhere we go. And I don’t really miss the endless hours of “Bear in the Big Blue House” or, “Rollie Pollie Ollie.” Well, actually I do. rnI miss how tiny they were. I miss their innocent, open and unguarded emotions. I miss their unconditional joy in life. rnI miss being able to carry them in my arms. rnThis is definitely one of those parts of parenting that I did not think through ahead of time. rnWhen I adopted my sons, I was in a state of near panic for the first couple months. “Oh my God, what have I done? I need to love and care for these strange little creatures for the next eighteen years. Maybe more, in today’s economy!” rnWhen I left the corporate world a couple years ago and became a stay-at-home parent, I felt like I was lost in some alternate universe. Did parents really stand at the end of the driveway, every morning and afternoon, just waiting for a school bus? Every day? For how many years?? rnIt took me a while, to realize how quickly time was passing. Now they don’t want me standing at the bus stop. They are hell-bent on growing up as quickly as possible, while I am holding on with all my strength. rnI love them so much my heart hurts. I can’t look at a photo taken of them two weeks ago without tearing up. See how young they look! rnNow, I grieve every moment that I cannot remember in precise detail. rnWhen are they going to perfect time travel, anyway? I need to go back. rnIn my more mature and rational moments, I know this is just life. I also acknowledge that there were at least a couple moments mixed in that are better left forgotten. rnIt wasn’t all perfection, but it was mostly really, really good. rnSo, here is my conscious parenting tip for the day: Pay attention. The only real way to actually slow the passage of time is to live in the moment, every moment. Be present with your children now. rnWe’ve all been taught that it’s not polite to stare, but in this case, we can make an exception. Take a few moments today, to simply look at your children. rnTake note of the details. What shade of brown do you see in their eyes? How has the shape of their face changed, as they’ve grown older? Enjoy the curve of their eyebrows and their smile. rnHave a conversation. Or just hug them, until they wriggle free. rnAnd when you are done, please pass the tissues. Related Posts: rnFor tips on grounding yourself firmly in the present moment, see Happiness Now! rnTake advantage of the time off from school to spend some real quality time with your children. To manifest your perfect summer vacation, check out What Are Your Plans for the Summer?Recommended Reading: I continue to recommend Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting. It is a lovely book that celebrates the joy of parenting. Authors Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn (Wherever You Go, There You Are) write about the ups and downs of parenting in the real world. Every page is a treasure.