Holidaze

In this article, learn about:

• The "Holidaze" from the CEO of 2nd Story Counseling Chicago: www.mychicagotherapist.com

• Find out how to work through holiday stress

• Assess your own holiday survival pla

If the sound of “Jingle Bells” sends you running to your local pharmacy to refill your anti-depression medication – rest assured you are not alone. For many folks, the holidays are anything but the most “Wonderful time of the year”. In fact for a large portion of the population, this time of year can be at best, difficult according to behavioral specialist, John D. Moore with 2nd Story Counseling in Chicago. "This is particularly true if you are dealing with emotionally distant family members, if you recently broke up with someone or if your childhood holiday memories are marred by family drinking, fighting and ugliness" says Moore.

If any of this sounds familiar then here are three tips for coping to think about:

TIP ONE: DON’T FORCE YOURSELF INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT
Pretending you are in the mood to spread “good tidings and joy” is kind of like sun tanning at the North Pole. Instead of trying to “Get Happy”, embrace your current emotions and focus on what thoughts or events are making you feel down. Are your family members intolerable? Perhaps you are feeling down because of a breakup? Did someone from your childhood abuse you and the holidays bring all of those memories to the forefront? If so then consider recording what you are feeling in a personal journal. This will help you to zone in on the specific emotions you are experiencing and encourage catharsis. Let’s face it – there is no law stating you have to hum “Joy to the World” when you are all about Bah Humbug.

TIP TWO: AVOID EMOTIONALLY DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
Does the thought of spending time with your family during the holidays cause anxiety? What I am about to state here might come as a surprise but the truth is that some family events are worth avoiding – particularly when there has been a history of arguments, excessive drinking or disapproval over your sexual orientation. If your family holiday history has generally played out to be uncomfortable, then ask yourself: “Do I really have to go to this gathering?” If for example you are going to make a disapproving family member “happy” or because a historically abusive person wants to feel “needed” – then perhaps you should consider other plans. After all, joy works both ways, meaning that you should not have your holidays ruined by family infighting or abuse. Instead of attending emotionally charged gatherings, think of doing something else. One idea is to spend time with a “Created Family” which is a twenty five cent term for sharing the holidays with close friends. It is better than being alone and what’s more, it will allow you to share your time in a supportive and caring environment. Bonus Tip: Treat yourself to a trip someplace you enjoy. For example, if you are partnered or have a close buddy and the two of you truly want to travel to Las Vegas – do it. Airlines and travel agencies always have special deals going on during the holiday season so why not take advantage? It could be your most memorable holiday ever!

TIP THREE: BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Being good to you does not mean buying yourself into debt by purchasing the latest gizmo for your IPOD. It does mean however that you allow the opportunity to celebrate you. It means realizing that you cannot be all things to all people. It means not giving into the obligatory cooking of the “Holiday Turkey” or the baking of the “New Year’s” ham. Ask yourself: “When is the last time someone cooked for me for a holiday?” The point here is rather than doing everything under the sun for other people, let someone do it do for you. Does this sound selfish – maybe a bit vein? Perhaps, but there are times when being “selfish” is healthy. One more point – being good to yourself could also mean talking to someone you trust about your feelings. This could mean a counselor, a friend or even a person you can connect with spiritually. Bottling up your feelings do nothing but cause more pain.

SUMMARY
The holidays can be a stressful and even depressing time for many. Rather than trying to “get through” the “holidaze”, allow yourself to experience your emotions. Consciously choose how involved you will become with various festivities and examine your holiday history. Don’t force yourself to do anything – it could make things worse. Instead, be true to yourself and decide how you want to spend the holiday season and with whom.