How broken heart can be good for you

You have been dumped! You are hurt! It can be very painful thing. You don't want to eat, to drink - life has no flavor. You might even feel so angry that you want to do something stupid. You don't care about yourself. And the worst thing is it wont go away that easily.
How to turn pain into something good? How to leave the situation as a winner?

The good news is that over time all of us can get over the person we have lost.
We have made thorough research on people who have their heart broken many times. They are now battle hardened veterans with warm harts of steel. How did they turn this around and what was their biggest help? What to avoid and what turns the pain into something good?

Getting over someone is a hard thing to do but once you have done it you will be stronger.
Things that can help to get over and advance you
• Use your anger to set and to brake boundary's. Do some thing crazy that you never dared.
• Use your sadness to get knowledge – Read books and talk to people. Learn from this experience.
• Use your pain for creativity – greatest love songs are created when people are with broken heart. Paint, make pictures, take up acting.
• Grief gives you ability to connect with new friends or lovers. New people make you think differently and give new experiences. Your ex will be forgotten in no time.

Things to remember:

You have to remember that everything happens for a reason and even this loss is somehow good for you.
First of all you have to make one and final decision that you don't want your partner back even if he/she begs.

What should definitely be avoided? Do not ask him/her to take you back. You will only be seen as a loser nothing more. You don't need this.
Don't blame yourself for things that went wrong. To end a relationship it always takes two people. There is no point blaming yourself and thinking it is all your fault. Don't drive yourself crazy with that thought which is not actually true! Know that (breaking up takes) always two sides.

Worst thing you could do to get over your partner is alcohol, pills and other stuff. That does not make pain go away. In time heartache goes away by itself just give yourself some time.. you don't have to ruin yourself because of that!

Don't try to starve yourself! Some people try to punish themselves by doing that. But don't start to eat like a monster also! Extreme is never good.

And don't let yourself go! Don't let school or work suffer because of that! Your ex is not worth it! You might not care for work and school at this moment but later you will be grateful and proud that you did not let those feelings interfere. You will feel stronger.

Don't stalk! Don't write long letters, emails, messages! Don't call! If you do that you will seem small, pointless and worthless. Some people even enjoy when others are chasing them but they don't really care.

When you are going on a new date don't talk about old love. It shows that you are still not over, insecure, and that your emotions are elsewhere.

All together it takes about 8 months to get over other person completely.
First two months are the worst. You might be happy one day.. completely sad the next.
Talking to your friends can help and it always makes you feel better if some one can understand you. But don't over do it they will get eventually tied of this if you keep going on about this for weeks and weeks.

Don't try to find out what he is doing or meet him/her somewhere „accidentally“. Less you see your ex, hear about him/her, know about him/her the faster you get over. It has been tested. To contact or have some information about your partner is like ripping skin off your wound.. it wont heal! The longer the gap between last contact between you two the faster your hart becomes strong and complete. Once it heals you will be stronger than ever.
Danger to look out for.

If you don't call or write to your ex he or she will do it sooner or later anyway. Now remember this is a pitfall. It is a difficult pitfall not to jump in.
What ever they say or want don't say or do anything. ONLY thing you can say is „i don't have time“.
Once you do that you have taken a very big step to forward.

What was the main thing that helped to get over the pain?

Paul:
„For me the main factor where it got better was when I red books about relationships. When I learned how women think and feel I understood what went wrong. I did not get her back but for this new knowledge I had gained I felt stronger for it. With the new knowledge I was able to get even better girlfriend later. Now I can see that the breakup has made me a better man. With knowledge and faith you can have a future.“

Sam
„My ex was this emotional party animal. She was in love with me one day and hated me the next. We broke up but every now and then she would come and visit me and tell me about her life and her problems then forget me for weeks. She was just using me. When Isaid I don't have time for her she kept calling me every now and then. It is really difficult to say to the person you love that you cant meet them but you have to. You have to stand your ground and say no or they will use you just like a mop. It is the only way to be respected.“

Eva
„Meeting new people and keeping yourself busy is instant healing balsam for your heart. Write a letter to your ex and say all that is in your mind and in your heart but DON'T SEND IT just keep it in a box or somewhere hidden. You can update it but never send it or let your ex know. Meeting new people and friends will make you see that there are lot of new wonderful people out there. I went traveling, i found some cheap flights and hotel deals that helped me outh. Met lot of new people. And as soon as you find someone else for you your ex will be forgotten before you know it.“

Max
„Create or achieve something. When you achieve something you will love yourself more. When you love yourself you don't need others to love you. Ha ha I know it funny but that's how it is. I started to have lot of
short film ideas and started doing them. I got to meet new people, changed my life and achieved new goals. When my ex saw me doing well that was so sweet moment for me. She was looking at me with regret.“

Good luck