We come across various kinds of people in life, whose nature and their inherent qualities, whose level of understanding and their perception of things, whose abilities and their capabilities, may sharply differ from that of ours. And when in our interaction, we get to believe that we are better equipped than others with the skill, knowledge or initiative to do things, it takes no time for our false pride to develop which neglects others’ contribution in the task-at-hand.

As the arrogance of “I am something and I know everything” grows within us, we tend to take control over everything that we are given to do and also of the manner we decide is the right way to do. And in the process, we develop an attitude of domination over others.

We do not realize the consequences of this attitude, until it begins to affect us very adversely in life. But now that you have the will to change your attitude, let’s discuss how to do that…

1.Attain Self Realization (Gnan)
Once you attain Self Realization, it becomes much easier to change your attitude of domination,

•Because when You realize that, “I am Pure Soul and my nature is only to see and know”, your very belief that, ‘I am the one who is having this attitude’, gets fractured.

•Moreover, when you take Gnan, the belief of “I am the doer” that lies at the core, and from which emerges the attitude of domination on feeling, “I am doing all of this, It happened only because of me, but for me this wouldn’t be done, I finished work on time, See the good work I did, Whatever I decide I always accomplish”, is realized to be an illusion.

One may wonder ‘Is Self-Realization that easy?’
It is indeed easy to realize our Self, provided we happen to meet Gnani, the Enlightened One!!! Gnani alone has the power to change our vision from that of illusion and delusion and gift us instead the pure and flawless vision. Following the vision that we gained from this world, we’ve always bound ourselves into more and more miseries. Now, why not try following Gnani’s vision and see how we can release ourself to experience the eternal bliss?!

Also, the following solutions become much easier, after Self-Realization (Gnan). But in case you haven’t got the chance to take Gnan as yet, no worries; you can still try applying the following, successfully.

2.Understand the science behind how things happen in this world.
In anything that you try to do, try and study how ‘when circumstances get together, only then the work gets done’. Take a very simple example of you making a cup of tea, and see how your mind, intellect, your entire body, time, space, along with the help of so many other evidences such as vessel, gas, milk, water, sugar, etc, are required to come together in order to make tea. Thus, study how every little process, that is seen done, is actually the result of circumstances coming together. This is the great law of Nature!

The ultimate goal of our study is to arrive at a conclusion that there is no individual doer in this world. It is due to our intellect that we feel the other person is not doing things correctly and only I can do them right. Use your intelligence instead to attain this goal and you will soon come to know that “there is actually no need to do egoism that ‘I’ have done this good work’, for I am not the sole doer; and if bad outcome may come, there is no need for me to blame anyone, for it is owing to circumstances, the other person is not the doer.”

3.Resolve not to hurt anybody
When our intentions are noble and kind, at times even if you are forced to dominate in compelling situations in order to save the other person from spoiling work or doing harm to himself, there’s no harm in doing so, provided you do not hurt anyone due to insistence or blaming or keeping undue expectations from people. And if you happen to hurt, practice pratikraman i.e. accept your mistake, heartily repent over it and decide never to repeat it.

4.Four steps to change your attitude
Here are 4 simple steps to change any habit or attitude that we intend to change for good:
•Decide for sure that this habit or attitude is wrong to keep.
•Try to analyse how and why is this attitude wrong to keep, making a list of disadvantages of a dominant attitude vis-à-vis the advantages of harnessing a loving attitude.
•In case someone ever gets hurt owing to your attitude of domination, practice pratikraman as suggested above.
•In no circumstance, you must ever protect the attitude you are willing to change.

5.Have free and amicable communication
Do not allow your attitude of domination to create a wall between you and the other person, and for this regular communication is the key! Talk with people you are associated with, in a free and frank manner, lovingly and amicably, without any bias. And if you see yourself trapped in guilt owing to this attitude of yours that you dislike today, freely talk to a friend who you think understands your nature, and thereby give vent to your emotions.

6.Help others
If you think you are good at implementing things in a better way than others, put your skill to right use, but with ample of humility. When gifted with qualities that others may be lacking, influence their behavior and thoughts positively, in the direction that you think is right, with lots of love and without any ego of superiority. This will be great service to them!

7.The Real leader
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, an enlightened being asks us to interact in a manner such that we are an employee of our employee. This eliminates our attitude of domination. Pujya Deepakbhai, who now heads and guides the Akram Vignan mission, followed Dada’s words very religiously and while he practiced engineering, he would always communicate with his employees, with an attitude that of being just one amongst them. At times, when the machine would run into problems, he would interact with the workers working on the machine, in a very polite tone like that of a junior, in order to inquire what exactly happened that was causing this problem.

The one who protects people working below him is actually the Real leader. Today, Pujya Deepakbhai is the Real Leader who inspires crores of people around the world. His every spoken word is treated by people as a commandment that one wants to willingly follow with complete sincerity so that they are able to become like one He wishes them to become and one He feels pleased to see growing predominantly on the spiritual path of success!!

Please visit this link:- https://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/self-help/anger-management/

Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization.