Everyone has an emotional bond. And this bond is with various people, starting with parents and siblings, later with friends, and after marriage with spouse and kids. We love these people with all our heart but there are occasions where we hurt them and they also in turn hurt us.

When we love someone, why does the hurt happen?

If we love them, how can we hurt them? And if we hurt them, how can it be called love then? To answer this question, we must first understand the difference between emotional bond (referred to as Moh) and Love.
Gnani Purush Pujya Deepakbhai explains, when there exists love for the other person but there are no expectations, no attachment and no hatred in it, it is defined as pure love. You don’t see the other person’s faults. And if person gives you respect, your love does not increase and if he insults you, your love does not decrease. Such is the pure love!

There is a fine line of demarcation between Moh and Love.
Love is pure and touching; and non-reactionary. On the other side, Moh is reactionary. When you develop Moh towards someone, you start expecting things from that person. And if your ‘expectations’ are not met by that person (knowing or unknowingly), it will make you react in a massive way. While reacting, you develop abhorrence towards that person. You may get angry and mad at him/her. Sometimes, you may not even want to see his face!

So how do we cross this line of demarcation and move from Moh to Love?

Here are some of the solutions that I have learnt from Gnani Purush Dada Bhagwan and his devotees Pujya Niruma and Pujya Deepakbhai (www.dadabhagwan.org).

1. Have Zero Expectations:

Since you have attachment, you are expecting something in return. When you truly start loving the person, you only give. It becomes one-way traffic as you genuinely love to give and that too without expecting anything in return. There is not an iota of selfish interest in it. When such selfless pure love comes into existence, the attachment goes. With it, all the tension one experiences in the relationship also goes away.

2. Don’t See His/Her Faults:

When you love without having any expectations from the other person, whatever the other person does is obviously welcome, but even if the person does not do something, you do not get disturbed because there were no expectations anyways from the person. You rather try to understand the other person’s situation with a balanced mind and find out how you can be of some good help to him/her. Where there is pure love, there never arises any blame game or pointing fingers at each other. There is love, love and only love that exists all along.

3. Give Love Permanently:

No matter what the other person does, your love should not increase or decrease. When love goes away even for few minutes, consider that you still have Moh and attachment towards the person. When he does something good, then you become very happy and when he does something wrong, you become depressed. Your emotions should not keep wavering like this. Instead give your love permanently in all situations.
Once you achieve this, your life will become like that in heaven.

Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization.