How do I help my loved ones?

With the huge energetic changes on Earth lately, lots of us are experiencing huge shifts in our lives that may feel very discomforting, even painful. Personally I'm going through a very big shift in my life as well, though thanks to a daily practice that includes meditation, chanting, EFT and most importantly, a deep faith that the universe is always guiding me along the way and things are happening as it is meant to, life is still relatively easy peasy.

However, when we see our loved ones experiencing discomfort and pain, it is can be very distressing to most of us. In fact, in the counselling centre where I used to work, people would often call up to ask for counselling. Not for themselves, but for their loved ones.

Yet, any professional helper would know that it is pretty much impossible to help someone if they are not ready to be helped. So your question might be, "But I can't stand to see him/her being so depressed...what can I do?"

There is a beautiful book "Letters to Sam" written by by Daniel Gottlieb, a quadraplegic who was worried about not being able to live long enough to see his grandson grow up, and hence wrote a series of letters to him. Let me share here in my own words, a very inspiring section that I still remember deeply in my heart.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a dark tunnel, completely lost, helpless and hopeless. We see our loved ones and friends standing at the end of the tunnel, in the bright light. They are worried and keep beckoning to us "Come on out! It's better to come out in the bright light. Don't stay in there."

Yet, what Daniel, the author, would really like, is to have someone who would walk into the tunnel and sit beside him. Not saying a word, not pushing him out of the tunnel. But to simply offer him the comforting presence, till he finds the energy and strength to walk out of the tunnel again.

Whew... even writing that makes me feel touched. :)

Sometimes we need to be in the dark tunnel for a while. To reflect. To rest. To reconsolidate. If you see a loved one in a dark tunnel, know that even if it looks painful from the outside, and he or she is indeed suffering in there, there is a time and season for everything, and right now, your loved one may need to be in there for now.

What you can do, is not to beckon your loved one to come out. But to go in there, perhaps with a torchlight, or the light that already exists within you. Sit beside him or her with great love and patience, and trust that when the time is right, they will walk out of the tunnel, stronger, wiser and more courageous.

There are other ways to help your loved one as well...such as through prayer, surrogate EFT, ho'oponopono, etc. But the common thread that runs through all these, is that instead of being bogged down by worry and anxiety, YOU need to be strong and positive. If you have trouble doing that, then you would benefit from doing some EFT on this.

Here's the tapping exercise for today:

Doing the Karate Chop point, say "Even though this person seems to be suffering, and I have no idea how to help him/her which makes me feel _____ (guilty/helpless/sad/etc), I am willing to forgive myself and acknowledge the possibility that things happen for a reason, and despite everything, I can choose peace anyway."

Then think of that person and tap on the remaining EFT points, taking note of your thoughts and feelings (without needing to change them... just observe.)

May you receive healing and insight for yourself and your loved ones!