Many of us have first-handedly experienced that during the acquaintance period of a romantic relationship, the man leads us on, makes empty promises, makes us believe he will down the stars from the sky for us, and he stops at nothing in order to get us in bed with him. Once the particular “first time” occurs, the man’s behavior may change, and we may rightfully be asking, “Is he really serious, or is he just playing games with me?”

The answer is very simple. If the man continues to seek us, and does things for us, then he is serious about us. If, however, he does not, then unfortunately we were indeed only needed for that. In order to avoid disappointment, it is worth delaying this first time for a while, and, in the meantime, continuously “testing” the man, in order to examine whether or not he is willing to do things for us. How do we “test” the man?

Let us be fascinating, sweet, captivating, and rather than believing what he says, compel him to act. Ask something of him that is important to you, but not at all to him.

E.g.: “Darling! I’m in the kitchen, up against a stubborn mason jar. I am so delicate; I cannot get it to open. You are such a strong and amazing man! Would you be willing to come over for me, and use your power to defeat my enemy, please? I am certain you are able to open it!”

Evidently, we are also capable of opening the jar, but in this case, the point is to test whether or not he is willing to do something for us. (This is something I cover extensively in my book titled 99%.) If he does come over to open it, then we are undoubtedly important to him. Make sure to praise him, but do not allow getting in bed with you to be the reward. If he refuses the request, it is important to determine whether it is for a valid reason, or just an excuse. If it’s merely an excuse, then it is highly possible, unfortunately, that we are not important to him.    

Once we have passed the first year mark, and the man continues to come over regularly, sometimes even bringing flowers, but nothing more, we may be asking ourselves the question, “Is he serious about us?” once again. At this time, we must utilize our female communication techniques (another topic I thoroughly explain in my book, 99%), and we must begin withdrawing from the relationship.

We need to communicate our emotions, and kindly and calmly inform him how uneasy we feel. We do not know how things will go on in the future, we are unable to make plans, and this is not pleasant for us. Express how important he is to you, how much you love him, but that you fear this uncertainty, and it is very important that you live in safety and stability. Without that, we do not know whom we belong to, or where we are headed. Once we have opened up to him, we ease out of the relationship. This may be frightening, and we might find ourselves asking the question, “What will life be like without him?”

If he does stop seeking us out, and does not chase after us, then he indeed wants to exit the relationship. We most likely meant more to him than a mere fling, yet we were not important enough for him to make a commitment to us. This will probably be difficult to overcome, but at least we will no longer be wasting our time on someone who doesn’t deserve us.

However, if he does chase after us, then we are important to him, and can feel free to enquire about his intentions and future plans.

Men need multiple years’ time to decide what they want from a woman. If he is serious about us, he will act on it, and will go out of his way to do things that are important to us. There is no need for several years of getting to know each other, because we learn everything about one another within the first year. It is important to understand the man and recognize what motivates him. If we have this awareness, we can quickly discern, through our female communication techniques, whether he is serious about us or not.

With Love: Valeria

Author's Bio: 

I have been living a conscious life for fifteen years. I’ve learned several methods of self-awareness. I began to work on myself and confront myself, and that is when I came to see the ingrained patterns that defined and motivated me. The patterns I had learned did not allow me to be my true self, and they prevented me from achieving the happiness I desired. When I grew closer to my true nature – alongside further self-development – I started to hold therapy sessions, and eventually, I taught as well. Thousands of realizations, thousands of revelations – honestly, we are talking about numbers that big – after plenty of pain, loads of bitterness, and countless “A-HA” moments, I am finally my true self. I can do what I must do and be who I must be. I am a happy woman living in balance, harmony, and a joyous relationship. I have reached my goal. I arrived.