I got the impression growing up that the only way someone would love me was when I was perfect, and that included my body. So to gain weight was really scary to me. I literally felt like no one would want me, especially men, unless I was supermodel thin, so every time I gained weight, I panicked.

When my pants all of a sudden became too tight, it sent me reeling. I would get really down on myself, and instead of buying bigger clothes, I would try to squeeze myself into my smaller sized clothes until I just couldn’t anymore. But I just couldn’t face the fact that I had packed the pounds on and I would avoid getting dressed at all, or opt for much baggier clothing options. I looked ridiculous.

But my body knew that gaining weight was a tactic that worked to get my attention when it wanted it, and instead of realizing that fact, I went in the complete opposite direction and either ignored it and kept gaining more weight or went way overboard and went to the other extreme by over-exercising, under-eating and torturing myself overall.

I was up down, up down, with my weight for many many years. And it was driven by fear. Fear of being fat, fear of no one loving me, fear of having to buy a bigger size, fear that if I did lose weight I’d just gain it back anyways so what’s the point?

And my sadistic view of food didn’t help either because there was comfort in my skewed view about how my body worked and my relationship to food so much so that when I began to change it, I felt fearful about giving up the belief that food was evil and made me fat!

I had come to rely on my fears in other words. They had ingrained themselves into every part of me, and without realizing it, I relied on them to give me comfort and security, and when I began to challenge them, they didn’t like it, particularly with food.

Fear will fight tooth and nail to stay alive. It’s not about to go down without a fight, and because it can be so overpowering, it’s seemingly easier to let it win, which is when you need to become ultra fearless and push through it because it’s the only way to take back your power and show it who’s boss.

By constanting switching my viewpoint to one that brought me better feeling feelings every time fear crept up into my psyche, I was able to overcome my anxiety, my fear, debt, weight. All of it. Believe me, there were plenty of times in the dead of night when fear would have a field day with my head, conjuring up all kinds of outcomes that scared the pants off of me, and I thought I’d never get over it but that’s when I had to really redirect the thoughts that were creating the fear to begin with. That’s key.

When it came to my weight, it wasn’t so much the food itself as it was the beliefs I had about it and what it would do to my body because the truth is it doesn’t matter if you eat the chocolate cake or not, what matters is how you feel about eating it. And if you feel fear that eating it will cause you to gain weight, then you will. You have to. It’s Law.

And if you’re afraid of gaining more weight if you’ve gained weight, or if you just fear gaining weight period, then you’ll do that too because you’re focused on gaining weight and the vibration, or feeling, about weight gain is stronger than you’re desire to lose or maintain your weight. Remember, what you feel you make real.

Food is just food and when I took my focus off of what I thought every cookie, candy or carb would do to me and started to focus on what my body really wanted, which was to eat slower, move slower, and breathe more, and feel more pleasure, instead of worrying about how many calories I was eating, it started to respond how I wanted it to.

Because losing weight is less of an outside job as it is an inside one, so try starting there for starters, especially if you’re someone who feels like she’s tried everything already. I actually got a place with my body where I was said, “Bring it on!” because I let go of the fear.

I’m no longer afraid of gaining weight, because I now realize it’s only temporary and it’s really just a way for my body to communicate with me so all my job is is to figure out what it wants. It has nothing to do with my age, so if you’re someone who wants to blame your extra weight on age or menopause, I suggest you look for evidence to the contrary.

One of the people I’ve always admired not so much for her music, although I do like it, but because of her commitment to her body is Madonna. I don’t care how much money she has, if she didn’t want to take care of herself she wouldn’t, but she obviously does because she’s got a killer body and just turned 54! So if it were true that everyone in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond naturally gained weight, then so would she, and she has the same body she did when she was in her 20’s. So it’s not true that you have to be overweight simply because you pass 40.

It takes persistent faith and trust knowing that once you make a declaration of what you want, like more money or less weight, the Universe is bringing it to you, even when it doesn’t seem like it. So even you think you’ll gain weight because you can’t stop craving sugar or bread or ice cream and you eat it anyway, just enjoy it, really love it, because the Universe knows what you want and is working up the solution for you, and as long as you stay aligned with your desire, no matter what’s happening on the outside, it’s coming to you if your vibration is allowing it in versus feeling fear about it.

Once you get that intuitive nudge to take action, that’s when you’ll know what next step to take to bring your desire into reality.

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Join me for my 3-part free call series on The Necessary Steps to Overcoming Unnecessary Fear And Stepping Into Your Power As A Fearless Woman Leader where I’ll be sharing the 5 ways fear creeps into your subconscious unconsciously and becomes the ultimate decision-maker, and more, starting August 22nd at 4pm EST/1pm PST. Click here to register: http://wellnesswithangela.net/building/free-weight-loss-teleclass/