How Much Should I Communicate To Get My Ex back
Written by Ram Gupta
If you have been trying to get your ex back, it seems only natural to use every opportunity to communicate with them. You would want to reach out, so that your ex does not simply leave you behind and move on. However, active communication out of desperation and anxiety is not always the best way to revive your relationship or to fix your relationship.
First of all, it will not be so easy for your ex to simply move on. Secondly, they may be able to perceive your desperation, anxiety and dependence on them. This will put you in a very poor light, and rather than discovering any strength in you (which is attractive), they will only see weakness (which is anything but attractive). Then again, communication is not always a negative. There is a strong case for keeping a connection alive. So, where does that leave you? If you are to get your ex back, do you communicate or not?
How Much Communication?
There is no definite answer to that question. It depends on the dynamics of your relationship, and you are the best judge of that. However, if you want to fix your relationship, your answer should mainly depend on what you think your ex will appreciate better. It is common at this stage for us to consider our own feelings and what we want. What works better, though, is sensitivity to your partner’s needs.
When Not To
If you think that your ex is fed-up with this relationship for the moment and would really want a break, it is best to give them some space and not communicate. It may sound counter-productive, but for now that is the best answer to get your ex back. After some time, you can ‘test the waters’ and see how your ex responds to communication. In the meanwhile, discover your independence and do things that will uplift your mood. When you do get back in touch, you would want your ex to see the most attractive side in you. After all most couples have relationship problems.
The Time to Communicate
It may also be that your ex will feel touched to hear from you and know that you still think of them, and think favorably. If that is the case, it is best to keep communicating and give yourself an opportunity to revive your relationship.
If you find that you both are chatting all night long like you used to when you were in a relationship, it could mean one of two things. Either your ex is eager to get back with you, or they are simply depending on you emotionally out of habit. It is common for ex partners to do this to tide over the trauma of their breakup. However, this is not a positive sign and is usually only a short-term need that can lead to further guilt.
Recognizing Emotional Dependence
If you think your ex is simply leaning on you out of habit and you are doing the same, you need to break that cycle to truly revive your relationship. Talk to them, but call off sooner than you would have; meet them, but once a week rather than everyday. Your ex needs to realize that a commitment should be on its way for things to be the same as before. If you can both discover some independence and then make a conscious and happy decision to come back together, that is the best way possible to revive your relationship. At the end of the day, communication is a crucial tool to get your ex back, but it has to be used carefully. Use this tool to fix your relationship.
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